#53 - Commando (1985)

Ok, when I start picking up stuff like an extremely cheesy 80's action movie with everyone's favorite politician, you know I'm running out of films in my list. At the same time it's dissapointing that I still have stuff like Gone with the Wind and other timeless, endlessly praised classics and I'm watching this, but what the hell, I had a blast watching it.

I guess the reason why I'm watching Commando is the fact that I was browsing for films and it popped up as one of Schwarzenegger's best films, along stuff like Terminator 2. But don't blame me, I'm a guy after all, and I love stupid action flicks. So, guess what the film is about? If you thought Arnold Schwarzenegger playing an ex-military something that has to rescue his daughter from some generic bad guys while killing every single one of them with cheesy one-liners, you guessed right! It's terrible and half of it doesn't make any freaking sense, but it's still awesome.

    

"How can he survive falling off a plane into a river? And how can't all those soldiers take one single guy-"

Just shut the fuck up and enjoy.

At this point I'm supposed to speak about the characters, but they are so generic and underdeve- why am I even doing this? Generic ex-militar commando hero man thingy fights generic apeshit revengeful bad guy, kills the generic henchman and gets the generic reluctant love interest along the way. Just like the characters, the acting is pretty much terrible. The over the top, funny kind of terrible. The film's from that time where Arnold hadn't still mastered the art of proper pronounciation so everything he says is incredibly stiff, but that just makes it funnier.

So you could say the saving grace of Commando are the action scenes. Well, the film is just a bunch of action scenes with crappy acting and story thrown in, but the action parts are worth it. While most of the film is action packed with some slow scenes in between, the initial scene where they kidnap the daughter, the part where Arnie breaks into the villa, and theduel with the bad guy take the cake. And the one-liners? A fucking cheesefest, but they are by far the best moments in the film. "Don't disturb my friend, he's dead tired." "You gotta co-operate, right?" "WRONG!"

    

Personal favorite:  "Let off some steam, Bennett."

Commando is nothing memorable, really. It's loud, it's stupid, but as a distraction it was pretty fun. I didn't want to sit through a two and a half hour long drama-heavy flick on the first day of my college semester. I would never recommend a film like this after all the classics I've had the pleasure to watch, there's nothing special about it... but you know, if you want something stupid to chill and have a laugh watching, knock yourself out.