#31 - The Big Lebowski (1998)

You know those films that have incredible potentials but fall behind and end up being rather mediocre? I think the Big Lebowski is one of them. It does so many things right that it could have been a comedic masterpiece had it handled them correctly. I did like it but I was annoyed by how much better it could have been.

The film is about Jeff Lebowski (Jeff Bridges), a pothead slacker that insists on being referred to as "The Dude", and is mistaken for the millionaire Jeff Lebowski (yup, same name), who after a series of shenanigans asks the Dude and his bowling buddies to help him rescue his kidnapped wife. It's a deceivingly simple plot, but trust me, it gets very convoluted and incoherent, to the point that you don't understand what is going on at times. I could give the film credit for trying to be solid and clever at times but it eventually becomes a helpless clusterfuck.

I generally dislike stoners or slackers in general, but the Dude takes every stereotype to the extreme so I can't help but enjoy the character a lot. He literally walks into a supermarket with a poncho and his underwear at one point, if I remember correctly. And his friends, the Vietnam veteran Walter, played by John Goodman, and the clueless Donny, played by Steve Buscemi, are just as likable, and the film really knows how to exploit the dynamic between the three for comedic purposes. Julianne Moore's Maude Lebowski is not as funny but still very entertaining to watch, and John Turturro's gay Latino "Jesus" steals every scene he's in. Even when his screen time is so reduced.

  

"Nobody fucks with the Jesus, man!" "Eight year olds do."

To be honest, though, this film is not that funny. Of course, it has its moments, mostly by exploiting the Dude's laziness, Walter's short temper and Donny's naïveness, but the rest of the jokes didn't quite keep me interested during the rest of the film. There's also a silly dream/dance sequence that comes out of nowhere and it's supposed to be funny, but it just breaks the pacing. I really wanted to see more of the bowling scenes, where there's little action other than the trio having some very funny conversations (the writing here is superb), but instead the focus is on the pointless rescue scenes.

  

I know they rarely do anything other than bowling or talking here, but these were the best bits.

It has its moments, particularly due to the memorable characters, and a surprisingly clever twist ending, but other than that I don't think I can recommend this film to a lot of people. If you insist on watching it for the cult classic that it is, I highly advise you to watch it with friends or something. It's not a bad film by any means: in fact, it's pretty entertaining, but it could have been much better in my opinion.

#30 - GoodFellas (1990)

Oh dear, has it really been a month since I started doing this? Yes it has. Nevermind, here's another Scorcese film I kept overlooking. Until I was forced to watch a Simpsons episode that pretty much stated "this is a GoodFellas parody" at the end. This is why I refuse to watch that show from season 12 onwards. Having to explain your own jokes, that's the show's quality standards now? So anyway, I was reminded of this film so I decided to take a look. And I ended up really liking it.


The movie narrates the lives of Henry Hill (Ray Liotta) and several of his acquaintances. Most of which are involved with the mafia. That's it, I can't really highlight any events. It's your typical rise-and-fall story, but the focus is not on what happens, but the lives of these characters from 1955 to 1980. And you know what? It totally works. While none of the events really stand out and all the scenes are rather short, I can't pick any one of them in which I lost interest. The relationships between the characters and the depiction of their bloated lifestyles is more than enough to keep you invested.

  

Looks like a bunch of guys playing poker, right? Even then some heavy shit is about to go on.

So, in order to keep us invested in the plot, the characters have to be really good, right? They are. The protagonist Henry Hill and his wife are those characters you are not supposed to identify with (since, you know, they kill people or bribe or do coke and all that) but the tone of the film reflects their emotions so well that you can't help but do it. Robert DeNiro's Jimmy Conway and Paul Sorvino's Paul Cicero are also very good characters but Joe Pesci's Tommy DeVito totally steals the show. His character is both hilarious and terrifying at the same time: he tells all these stories and everyone laughs his ass off... until someone makes fun of him and he goes completely serious or apeshit crazy. Only to break into laughter again or pop a cap on someone. Tommy is so unstable he's borderline insane, and it is incredibly amusing to watch.

  

Plus he delivers the most memorable quote from the film. "I'm funny how, I mean funny like I'm a clown?"

Other things that are very memorable are details like how the inner decoration of Henry's home evolves along with the style of said decade (and his income). Plus, I think this film nails some crime themes better than, say, the Godfather. Yes, I said it. Mostly because the characters are not related: they trust each other as if they were a family but deep down they know they are all power hungry criminals. Pesci's character wraps it up perfectly: you feel comfortable with him but at the same time you know he's about to snap at any moment. Also the dangers behind money and power are very cleverly portrayed here. At the end of the film Henry is pretty much a helpless paranoid, unable to rely on anyone.

The script, the characters, the narrative structure, the themes... This film does everything right. And I love it. Even though I'm getting a little sick of watching crime films lately.

#29 - Reservoir Dogs (1992)

Like I said in my Unglorious Basterds review (holy shit, it's been a while), I love Quentin Tarantino's films. Pulp Fiction is, tied with Dr. Strangelove, my favorite film of all time. And while watching Unglorious Basterds I realized I've missed a lot of his filmography, so I added a bunch of his films to the list. I had to start with this one, being his debut as a director. And what a debut it is.


If you have seen Pulp Fiction (if you haven't, do yourself a favor and go watch it), you'll find the themes, narrative structure and characters here very familiar. The movie is mostly about a gang of professional criminals (the eponymous Reservoir Dogs) and a failed diamond heist. None of the heist is shown in the film: all that is shown is what happens before and after it, using Tarantino's trademark non-linear narrative. Which, in case you're unfamiliar with... it's kind of messy: the order of the events is completely scrambled (the first scene is the second, the second is the fourth, the third is the first, one of them is missing altogether), you definitely have to see it multiple times to make sense of things. But that doesn't mean it doesn't work: you still understand everything that's going on.

  

Wait, didn't we get to know each other a second ago? Oh, that was a flashback... Was it?

The performances are also great, swithcing their moods as the fim goes on: ranging from over the top violent to laid back and relaxed. You have Tim Roth, Steve Buscemi, Harvey Keitel and Michael Madsen among other actors, playing codenamed characters (Mr. Orange, Mr. Pink, Mr. White and Mr. Blonde respectively). And while the characters are codenamed you still get to know a lot about their personalities, and most of the character development is done through the interactions between them. And it works. It's a lot of fun to watch Mr. Pink bitching at his boss for getting the most effeminate name, or Mr. Blonde slicing up a hostage cop while listening to the radio, or Mr. White trying to confort a wounded Mr. Orange in the bloodsoaked back of a car ("I shot Marvin in the face", anyone?).

  

And the opening scene, with everyone having breakfast? It's nothing but casual talk, and it's so entertaining!

The twists and turns of the narrative, the interaction-driven character development and the original concept makes this a fantastic film. Not only did it help put Tarantino on the map, but it also did a big deal in making people aware of how refreshing independent cinema can be. It's totally worth checking out.

#28 - Halloween (1978)

I love slasher films. Good ones and specially the terrible ones. A friend of mine is particularly fond on them too, we always rent mind-nimbingly stupid, low budget gorefests to just laugh at the incredibly mediocre acting, cookie-cutter psychotic mass murderers and the unbelievably promiscuous in-their-twenties- but-supposedly-teenage cast. So I had to see the very first film that started this sub-genre (of course, influenced by Hitchcock's Psycho, the third film on the list).

The plot is very basic, unsurprisingly. You have Michael Myers, a disturbed child that grows up in a mental institution after he murders his sister and several years later escapes and returns to his hometown to kill local teenage girls (maybe because they remind him of his sister, or just for shits and giggles), and his psychiatrist chases after him to stop his rampage. That's it, pretty much. As vague as it gets. And Myers is not that memorable either, but I still liked the character. I'll give him credit for being the first mute, unstoppable psycho we've seen in every other slasher film ever since, and the fact that he is very well introduced. You know his backstory from the very beginning (instead of being revealed in a twist at the last moment), and the movie takes it time to introduce him properly. He doesn't kill anyone until halfway into the movie: we just see glympses of him stalking the characters. Take a hint, B-list producers.

 

No, not THAT Michael Myers.

Our main heroine is... I forgot her name, let's just call her "generic nerdy and socially awkward girl", played by Jamie Lee Curtis on her debut role. And also there's her generic slutty friends that (surprise!) get killed, right after having sex (surprise! again!). I couldn't get past the fact that most of the cast are in their twenties. Particularly our lead. Come on, are you really expecting me to think they are high school students? They're bland, uninteresting and, to be honest, they are an offensive portrayal of women. They are promiscuous beyond belief, gossippy... you get the idea. Maybe it's just poorly executed social criticism, but it still bothers me a little.

Let's get on to the most important thing: was it scary? No. I don't know if it's the film's age, the low production values, or the fact that I've seen too many films of this kind to be shocked by it, but I never found it scary. Unsettling, at least? Maybe, a little. I get why films like this one or the Exorcist were scary back then, but probably due to the fact that they spawned so many films and we got used to them, the shock value has died out with the years.

 

It's not your fault, Halloween. I just haven't gone "Look out, bitch, he's behind you!" in years.

So, the acting and casting is mediocre, the plot is extremely basic, the production values are pretty low and, most likely, you won't get scared watching it. Aside from the interesting and creepy villian, there are not many reasons to watch this film other than for how influential it is to an entire genre, so take that into account if you plan on watching it.

#27 - The Godfather (1972)

Well, here it is. The second best movie ever made (according to the American Film Institute). I know, right? Never seen the Godfather? I know. And after having seen it, I think I came across another one of those "how come I never spent three hours of my life on this?!" kind of films. Enough, let's move on to my views.


Even if you've never seen it, you're probably familiar with the story. You have the Corleone mafia family, leaded by the patriarch Vito Corleone (Marlon Brando). His son... er, Sonny, takes over the "family business" once Vito is gunned down by a rival gang. Sonny's brother, Michael (Al Pacino), who prevoiusly wanted nothing to do with his father's affairs, now gets involved too in order to avenge his father. And the rest of the film is Al Pacino's character rising up the ranks of his criminal organization, raising a family... I know, sounds like Scarface, right? Okay, the Godfather came out first, I know. But even then Al Pacino's character is great and surprisingly relatable. And seeing how he changes as the movie progresses is also very entertaining.


So sure, the story is focused on Michael, but the rest of the cast is excellent. Almost all of them are convincing and appealing, particularly the aforementioned Al Pacino, as well as Robet Duvall and James Caan. And how could I forget Vito Corleone. is also a fascinating character, in the sense that he looks like such a nice person with his family but he's clearly not the kind of guy you want to have as your enemy. Just look at the scene he shares with his grandchild, I would never suspect how much of a ruthless motherfucker he is after that. If only I could understand more than half of what he says...

"I'm gonna make him an offer he can't refuse" SPEAK UP FOR FUCK'S SAKE

Everything else is also top notch. Some scenes, like the movie producer waking up with his horse's decapitated head in his bed, or the murder scene in the toll both are extremely iconic and have been parodized to death; probably because of how cleverly executed and filmed they are. The music is also instantly recognizable. The only things I didn't like are how the film manages to portray every possible Italian stereotype, and how stupidly melodramatic and annoying the female cast is.

That scene where out of nowhere Michael's wife wrecks his house up? You deserve getting blown up, bitch.

I have very nitpicky complaints but other than that it's one of the best films of all time. You can't not watch it. I mean, the acting is great, the plot is fantastically executed, the themes of nonrealiability and family values are perfect, the music and visuals are top-notch... In the end, just go fucking see it if you haven't already.

#26 - Red Dragon (2002)

If you've been reading this blog for a while, you probably know that Silence of the Lambs was the first movie I took off the list and reviewed, and fucking loved it. And unlike its first sequel, Hannibal, which wasn't nearly as good, Red Dragon is just as good as the first one. It may lack some shock value, being the third entry in the series, but even then it's a great film.


Red Dragon is actually a prequel to Silence of the Lambs (the novel it is based on came out before Silence's). Thus, it follows the same formula: an FBI agent needs Hannibal Lecter's help to catch a crazed mass murderer. Only this time, that agent is actually Will Graham (Edward Norton), the man that exposed Lecter as the psychotic cannibal he is. So the relationship between the two is even more fierce than the Sterling and Lecter had in the first film. Oh, and the psycho this time is known as the "Tooth Fairy" but later on is revealed to be the eponymous Red Dragon, played by Ralph Fiennes.

Red? That looks black to me.

To be honest, I liked both the protagonist and the killer much more than their counterparts from Silence of the Lambs. Graham is a much more interesting character than Sterling: he's smater, stronger, and more experienced; he has a clearer motivation to catch the killer; and, as I said, he is more involved with Lecter, who truly despises him from the very beginning (as well as admiring him for his capture). And did I mention that he is afraid of his own ability to deduce and figure out clues by thinking like the people he pursues? The killer, mockingly referred to as "the Tooth Fairy", is probably less believable than Buffalo Bill as a real-life serial killer but even then, he is WAY better developed, other than being just a demented crossdresser. I don't want to spoil anything about him, it ruins the experience. Lecter is very downplayed, though. The fact that Graham knows every single one of his tricks and doesn't let them get to him is probably the main reason.

 

Same as the audience. It's not that unsettling the third time around.

The plot is pretty much the same. The way it unveils a bit better in my opinion: instead of making conjectures througout the whole film only to reveal everything at the last thrity minutes, it has a steadier pace. Both the clues and traits of the killer are revealed much more gradually. It is a different approach but basically... yeah. It's the same plot.


In the end, I liked it just as much as I liked Silence of the Lambs. Sorry if I insist on that, but you can't help but compare them since they follow the same formula. But the characters (except Lecter) are better, the pacing is better: everyone would agree it's a better film if it came before the first one. Totally worth two hours of your time.

#25 - Dr. No (1962)

Here's another movie franchise I'm astonishingly unfamiliar with: James Bond. While I have seen the two most recent ones (Casino Royale and Quantum of Solace) and I hav played the Goldeneye game on the N64, that's all I've ever seen of 007. So I added the very first film starring Bond to the list, and really liked it.


The very mention of James Bond is more than enough to figure out what the film is about: the secret spy, played by Sean Connery, having to take down a terrorist organization/ villian bent on taking over the world, gets a girl along the way (in this case, Honey Ryder, played by Ursula Adress) and narrowly escapes from his demise with the help of his cunning, gadgets and skillset. That's pretty much it, fill in the blanks and you have a Bond film. Is there anything wrong with that? Absolutely not.


Bond is one of the most critically acclaimed characters in the history of cinema. He's stylish, suave and a force to be reckoned with. While I think the guy is too flawless to be interesting and complex, he's still a great character. The eponymous Dr. No, well, not so much. He's just as one-dimensional as the hero, don't get me wrong, but even then he's not an interesting villian. I liked the Bond girl here, too. Sure, she's a textbook damsel in distress but even then there's a certain charm to her character. She's doesn't get annoying, as in constantly running into the line of fire and having to be rescued: she is never an obstacle, that's why it works. The rest of the characters, like M and Quarrel, don't get much screen time but even then I liked them.

 

The way the character is introduced is fantastic. "The name is Bond. James Bond." 

Another reason why I liked this film (and the main reason why I decided to watch it in the first place) is because of how influential it was, and not only for the Bond franchise. I mean, this film started the whole spy genre popularized throughout the 60s with shows like Get Smart. Austin Powers is one of my favorite comedies ever and I'm sure if I watch it right now after having seen Dr. No, it will be even better: it started all the cliches the former makes fun of. And formulaic as it may be, it's still very enjoyable.

The aesthetics are also very good. The main theme and the intro are incredibly recognizable, is has very creative and stylish visuals, and the way it was shot is very clever. Some parts were a bit goofy, though. I won't say they kill the mood of the movie, but they don't fit in with the serious tone of the film. The introduction of Ryder, the ridiculous, bright suits the bad guys wear, the unsettling hospitality the villian has for his mortal enemy, and that goddamn dragon come to mind.

 

Seriously? HOW CAN ANYONE FALL FOR THIS.

So in the end, it's a Bond film, so if you've enjoyed any other film you will like it as well, since it introduced the same formula the rest of the films follow. In case you have never seen any, it's worth watching if you're into action or thriller films.

#24 - Taxi Driver (1976)

Here we go, the third Scorcese flick on the list. And I can assure you, this is the best one out of the three. Mostly because of the premise and the themes it deals with. While Cape Fear was good and The Departed wasn't appealing to me, this one takes the cake.

The film is about Travis Bickle, played by Robert DeNiro, a depressed ex-marine working as a cabbie to cope with his insomnia. He has witnessed a large amount of unsettling things like criminals and prostitution during his profession, but when a 12 year old prostitute (a very young Jodie Foster) is dragged out of his car by her pimp, and decides to put a stop to it. And by that I mean getting guns and... you get the idea.

I really liked Robert De Niro's character and performance. Even when he's a nutjob, you still feel sympathy for him. He's lonely, depressed and alienated. Plus, as twisted as it may sound, I find his motive relatable. We keep seeing the bullshit every day without taking action. Even then, I think the movie "Falling Down" does this better (but to this film's credit, it came out 20 years later). There's something in his insanity and paranoia that is disturbingly understandable. I got mugged once or twice and right after it happened I was frustrated enough to think getting these people shot is not such a terrible idea. He may be crazy but in his head he has the best intentions and I find that fascinating.

Plus, he's very fun to watch. "You talkin' to me?"

And while the film keeps the focus on Travis, the rest of the characters are pretty interesting. Jodie Foster is shockingly believable as a 12 year old hooker, and Harvey Keitel as her pimp is also a highlight. Another thing I really liked was the ending, more precisely the message behind it. I won't spoil it, but it wraps up the story really good.

One minor complaint: I didn't feel like the political assassination part was tied in with the rest of the plot properly. Early in the film, Travis dates the campaign volunteer of a senator running for president. But after she turns him down (proabably because he took her to a PORNO THEATRE) he then attempts to take down the senator. Wait, what? I get that the fact that the fact that he wants to fit in with a normal person adds up to his development: I liked that, but why go shoot her boss in revenge?

The mohawk gives you away instantly. You didn't think it through, did you?

I have a couple more Scorcese films on the list (I have over 40 films to go and I keep getting more added in!), but this one is my favorite so far. It has a great central character, plenty of interesting themes developed around him, and while the plot has its flaws but it still works.

#23 - Dr. Strangelove or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb (1964)

Sorry, Pulp Fiction, but I think this film has just dethroned you as my all-time favorite. Kubrick, you sick, misanthropic genius, you did it again. I don't know if it's for the subtle humor, the characters or the fact that I find America's paranoia during the Cold War incredibly stupid, but the thing is: this is one of the best movies I have ever seen and quite possibly the best political sattire EVER.

The film, set during the Cold War, involves the paranoid general Jack D. Ripper (Sterling Hayden) sending a command to an Air Force plane to drop a nuclear warhead on a Soviet base, and he knows the single code that can cancel the attack. The US president (Peter Sellers) then decides to join forces with the Soviets to either shoot down the plane or retrieve the code from Ripper, once he learnes from Dr. Strangelove (again, Peter Sellers) that the base to be nuked houses the detonator for the doomsday device, that will destroy all animal and human life on Earth.

Needless to say, this is a huge sattire of how paranoid the US was during the 50's and 60's, the Red Scare and the fear of nuclear holocausts. Characters like the aforementioned general Ripper, and the equally jingoist general Turgidson reflect this with the former believing in a conspiracy involving water flouridation and the draining of American citizen's "life essence"; while the latter insists on nuking the USSR before they can fight back.

This guy trying to "understand the mindset of the Ruskies" and fighting the Russian ambassador is hilarious.

This isn't a laugh out loud comedy, since the humor here is very subtle, but it can totally keep you entertained for 90 minutes. Aside from stuff like soldiers fighting along a "Peace is our profession" sign, a general refusing to shoot a vending machine for change to call the president ("You're going to have to answer to the CocaCola company.") you have the over the top sillyness and the fantastic performances. The titular Dr. Strangelove has very little screen time but completely steals the show. The fact that the US government hired such an insane person, who is probably an ex-Nazi scientist, to fight something they BELIEVE to be equally insane is hilarious. Plus the film is a massive quote machine. "Sure, mein Führer. I mean, Mr. president."; "You can't fight here! This is the War Room!"; "Our source was the New York times."

"Hey, where'd major Kong go?"

This is, hands down, one of my favorite movies of all time. It's brilliant, funny at times, over the top at others, the characters and their performers are phenomenal: it just does everything right. I can't recommend it as a comedy to watch on the couch with friends and laugh through the whole thing, but as a more individual experience that demands all of your attention so you don't miss any detail.

#22 - Casablanca (1942)

Well, this is one of the first movies I added to the list. I mean, some people call it one of the best films EVER DONE, I just had to watch it. And to be honest, I didn't think it is one of the best film I have ever seen. It's pretty good, but I personally wouldn't say it's THAT good.

I mean, EVERYONE has heard about how good it is. Is it, really?

The plot involves Rick Blaine (Humphrey Bogart), an American living in Casablanca, Morocco, during the 1940's. He is given a bunch of letters of transit (that allows refugees to flee from Europe) by a friend of his that is killed afterwards. Suddenly, Ilsa Lund (Ingrid Bergman) comes around. She's Rick's ex-lover, and he's not very happy to see her. And her husband. And the rest of the movie runs on two major conflicts: the letters and the relationship between Rick and Ilsa. The premise is somewhat basic, but it works.

So yeah, the plot is split in both the romance and the posession of the letters. And both do a great job in developing the characters  and moving the plot forward. Rick and Ilsa are both interesting characters, there's a great chemistry between them and you are intrigued on what happened to their relationship. And in between you have Ilsa's husband, Laszlo, the leader of a revolution, who needs the letters AND is involved in the romance. I really liked the other secondary characters: Rick's friend, the pianist, the bad guy, etc.

I can't say much for the visuals (since it's a black and white film and we can't see Morocco very well), but everything else adds up to the film. The writing is brilliant, witty and believable: even when Bogart and Bergman play such romantic characters their lines are never sappy. And the music is very good too, and the film uses it to its advantage perfectly. When the Nazis are singing their... anthem, I guess, and La Marseillaise kicks in, you feel how the simple act of playing it is a kick to the crotch for the Germans. And how can we forget "As Time Goes By".

I had to google "Here's looking at you, kid", though. Oh, well, I guess it was still used around the 1940's.

Don't get me wrong. The characters are interesting, the plot is good, everything else is outstanding: it is a very good movie. I wouldn't describe it as "perfect", or "one of the best films ever made". But it's so iconic and well known that you can't call yourself a film enthusiast without having seen it.

#21 - Ed Wood (1994)

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#20 - Monty Python and the Holy Grail (1975)

Before I begin, may I remind you that this blog and its contents are based purely on my opinion? I'm not saying this movie is a piece of garbage, but I personally think it's an unfunny mess. I am completely unfamiliar with Monty Python but if this is their humoristic style, I doubt I'm missing anything of my interest.

Let's start with the plot. Wait, plot? There is next to no plot here, unfortunately. Just a medieval setting for the cast to fuck around and make sketches parodizing the Middle Ages. It mostly involves King Arthur and the Knights of the Round Table searching for the Holy Grail, and coming across all kinds of crazy shit in the way. The characters, even when they are given titles that describe their personalities, rarely reflect this at all. The are not interesting, not developed, and just leave more space for the unfunny jokes.

It says a lot when fucking Snow White exploits this better than your film.

The sketches are not funny. Some people call this film a comedic masterpiece but I ended up growing bored and booted up Minecraft while the film was playing and ended up being more invested in that. Almost all of the humor of the movie comes from the conversations between the characters. There are some bits of action but most of it is talking. Other movies have some stuff going on in the background to get you through the boring parts, but you won't find that in this one and it doesn't help that most of the film is comprised of these boring parts.

The film also has animated segments in between every sketch, or that introduce a character. I think it's the same style from Monty Python's Flying Circus show (again, never seen it, just bumped into the intro a couple of times). I'm not a fan of these either. They are supposed to be funny but, again, I don't know if it's just me but it isn't. I'm not so keen on the animation style either.

Even with all these faults, I have to give credit where credit is due. Some parts were funny, particularly the beggining. Never laugh out loud funny, but I did giggle a bit. If that counts as a compliment. I actually liked some of the silly parts, like the vicious, monstrous rabbit, or the fight with the dark knight. And the conclusion is hilarious.

By this point I still had hopes for this movie. Unfortunately, everything goes downhill from there.

In the end, I didn't like it. I didn't find it funny either. If you want to get bored and turn your attention to something else while you watch it, in hopes that the movie will get better, you'll enjoy it. In other case, there's plenty of better comedy films out there much more worthy of your time.

#19 - Scarface (1983)

Wait, Scarface? Yes, I'm an 18 year old heterosexual male and I have never seen this film. Sue me. Hang on, let me rephrase that. This is a movie for men. It's big, loud, and dumb. So I highly doubt any member of my opposite gender is going to like it. And to be honest, you are not missing out on anything, really.


The plot is pretty solid. As in, you have something worth watching in between all the gunfire and cursing. Al Pacino plays Tony Fontana, a cuban refugee who gets involved in the Miami drug cartel and quickly makes his way to the top. It's very basic but it is nice to see the character evolve as he grows more powerful. Tony starts out as a relatively nice guy (sans all the killing) but keeps getting more and more cynical and violent as the movie goes on, his priorities shift from stuff like making his friends and family happy to fucking and snorting coke all day long. He isn't a relatable character by any means, but his development is nice to watch.

Unless you are Latino, since we are all into drugs and supermodels and sombreros amirite?

Other characters include Tony's friend Manny, who is loyal to him and tries to keep Tony's feet on the ground as he keeps fucking up his life. He also has a crush on his sister (which you wouldn't like to fuck around with either). You also have Michelle Pfeiffer as the girlfriend of Tony's boss, and tries to act uninterested while our main character hits on her every chance he gets. They also have plenty of development  and change a lot during the course of the film.


Back to the gunfire and cursing... holy fuck, this movie doesn't dissapoint if that's a selling point for you. There probably isn't one scene in the entire movie that is apparently calm and quiet until someone goes apeshit crazy and starts yelling obscenities, or someone comes out of apparently nowhere and shoots everything in sight. It's very over the top and pointless, but it's really fun to watch with a bunch of friends (may I say... bros?) on a couch laughing your ass off at every gunshot.

"Say hello to my little friend!" Come on. How can any one not enjoy this?

On a sidenote, I am slightly offended due to the fact that almost every character in this movie is Latin American, and they are all involved in an international drug cartel. Seriously, Hollywood, why is any mention of my ethnicity in American movies a negative one? Be it drugs, perverts that slobber over white women, lazy Mexicans that scrub your floors and clean your houses...


Minor complaints aside, it is a pretty good movie. But again, for guys. The drug theme, excessive violence and profanity might turn some people off, but if you get past that you'll have a good time watching this.

#18 - Midnight in Paris (2011)

Oh, Paris. I definitely have to go there before I die. So I can get mocked by pompous frenchmen on my rudimentary understanding of the French language. Back to the subject at hand, I'm glad I watched this film. My parents went to see it last year (before that divorce crap a couple of months ago) and enjoyed it, but I turned it down because, really, it sounds like the kind of film I'd fall asleep in the middle of, only to pretend I liked it on my way out of the theatre. But I did like it now.


The film is about Gil Pender (Owen Wilson), a Hollywood screenwriter attempting to finish his first novel. He, his fiancée Inez (Rachel McAdams) and her parents go to Paris on a vacation. During a midnight stroll he is somehow transported to the 1920's (an age he idolizes) and stumbles upon Hemingway, Picasso, Dali, and the likes. These characters help him on his novel and a model in particular makes him realize how empty his relationship is.


I always find it amusing to see comedic actors in more serious roles, and Owen Wilson is no exception. His character is hopelessly romantic, passionate and fun to watch. Just look at the awe and delight on his face when he bumps into all these artists. The other characters, like his fiancée, her parents and some jerk who's friends with Inez are sort of enjoyable too: they don't just take up space in between every one of Gil's time travelling thingies. 

If you keep them both apart, they can have very good serious roles. Stiller, not so much, though. 

But what the best thing here is hands down the artists and historical figures. Particularly if you know the context behind them. Remember forcefully reading F. Scott Fitzgerald's biography and "The Great Gatsby" in high school literature? Thank god that finally paid off! And excuse my ignorance but even when I have no idea on who Gretrude Stein is, I liked the way Kathy Bates portrayed her. Plus, every single one of them offer the main character some insight on his life from their perspective. Dali goes for a surrealist approach, Hemingway is more cynical...

Honestly, wouldn't you like to hang out with them?

I'm not very familiar with Woody Allen, but I definitely want to see more of his movies after this one. You might find it boring if you are not into this kind of films, but if you are familiar with the historical context and all the people the main character comes across, you just have to see it.

That nose... It's staring into my soul.

#17 - Se7en (1995)

Oh look, another serial killer movie. It's been, what, two weeks since the last one? Does this mean I get green light to do this? Does anyone care? I guess not, so here's Se7en.

The plot involves an old, almost retired cop (Morgan Freeman) and his rookie partner (Brad Pitt) trying to catch a serial killer (Kevin Spacey) whose victims are themed after the seven deadly sins. In case you are not familiar with them, Gluttony, Greed, Sloth, Lust, Pride, Envy and Wrath. For instance, the Gluttony victim is a morbidly obese man forced to eat until he dies, the Lust one is a hooker killed by... I don't want to go there.

Disturbing shit indeed.

The deadly sin thingy, along with the concept of religious delusion has always fascinated me (in a less twisted, psychotic way, of course!), so it was intriguing to see how the killer's mind works. It also manages to offer a pretty insightful reflection of society... a twisted one, but if you tone down the crazy a bit, the guy makes a valid point. Spacey's preformance is really good. He has the cliche of saying all these fucked up things while never losing his temper, but he does get a little upset at times, making him a bit more believable.

The rest of the characters are also fun to watch. Freeman's character is the stereotypical seasoned, wise, "I'm too old for this shit" cop, and Pitt plays the usual young, headstrong rookie with a strong sense of justice. We've seen these characters a million times but both are still entertaining. You know, the more I see Brad Pitt playing good roles in movies the more I stop thinking of him as a pretty boy Hollywood uses to cash in on my opposite gender. Oh, and there's also Gwyneth Paltrow playing Pitt's wife. She's Ok, I guess. While she barely appears in the movie, her performance is believable and has her own subplot of being secretly pregnant.

Morgan Freeman. What else can I say? The guy is awesome.

There's plenty to love here. The Noir themes, the dynamic between the characters, the almost "artistic" reveal of every murder... Totally worth two hours of your time.

#16 - Rain Man (1988)

I'm surprised to realize I have barely heard of this movie. The only mention of it I can remember is of a very stupid comic strip that featured Dustin Hoffman's character in Rain Man hitting Forrest Gump with his Oscar, followed by Gump hitting him back and ending up with the handicapped guy from My Left Foot running over them with his wheelchair, Oscar in hand. I know, I read weird stuff. But anyway, knowing that both Forrest Gump and My Left Foot were good movies, I decided to add this one to the list. And I'm glad I read that strip.

Tom Cruise plays Charlie Babbitt, a self-centered yuppie. He finds out his father, with whom he has not been in touch for years, is leaving his 3 million dollar inheritance to Charlie's autistic older brother (whose existance is unknown to him), Raymond, played by Dustin Hoffman. Charlie goes to Ohio to pick him up and take him to his lawyers in Los Angeles, but Raymond refuses to fly on a plane so they both spend most of the movie going to their destination by car. Shenanigans ensue.

The characters are the heart and soul of the movie. Charlie is selfish and just wants to take his brother's custody to cash in, but (you guessed it!) he ends up warming to him. And Hoffman just steals the show. Raymond shows next to no emotions, has plenty of routines he has to follow strictly, goes "Oh, oh" and slaps himself when frustrated or confused... I can't say if this is an accurate portrayal of people with autism but I bought it. His antics are just enjoyable to watch.

This isn't one of them, but am I the only one who laughed, only to feel guilty afterwards?

The dynamic between the two is fantastic. Mostly through Cruise's performance though, since Hoffman just acts like a robot except for a few moments. It's always funny to see Raymond being quirky and Charlie having to deal with it and try to please him. Add in stuff like Charlie's girlfriend leaving him because of his attitude, his reflection on how we deserted his family, Raymond's aparent savantism, and you have a very good character-driven film.

I know the odd couple and on-the-road themes have been done to death, but still, this movie prefectly blends both into a great film. The conclusion is very good, it can be very funny at times, the characters grow into you... Just very good.

Dustin Hoffman staring at the horizon. Turns out, you can totally watch that for two hours.

#15 - The Departed (2006)

I really wanted to see this film. Come on, it won four freaking Oscars. But after watching it... Am I the only one that doesn't really think this movie is as good as everyone says it is? I mean, it is a good movie, but I personally think it has a lot of flaws.

The plot revolves around the Irish mafia and the special investigations unit that tries to put a stop to them. The former is led by Frank Costello (Jack Nicholson), who trains Colin Sullivan (Matt Damon) as a mole to infilrate the police; while in the latter, Sean Dignam (Mark Wahlberg) asks Billy Costigan (Leonardo DiCaprio) as... surprise, a mole, to infiltate the mafia. After a while, both organizations realize they have a rat and have to find out who he is. But there is a pretty big problem there. We know who the moles are! Everyone else is trying to figure it out but we already know. At points it felt like watching a movie whose ending was spoiled at the very beginning.

"Oh, so it was you!" BORING, we knew it all along.

And that's not my biggest complaint. While the main characters are interesting (and the supporting roles or Martin Sheen and Ray Winstone are pretty enjoyable too), both sides feel somewhat... parallel. I mean, the idea of both groups thinking they are tricking the other while being tricked at the same time is clever, but we end up seeing the same thing twice, with stuff like Damon and DiCaprio's characters being rather similar, ending up having second thoughts about their mission... It gets too complicated and repetitive. I would have liked both sides to differ a little more in their course of action. Another problem is the ending. I expected more.

But don't get me wrong: there are many things to like here. The film explores a plethora of themes very gracefully. You have moral ambiguity when both characters doubt their original mission after empathizing with the opposition; identity in the form of Sullivan's "policeman" role growing on him and Costigan realizing he threw his life away with his role: and mentorship in Sullivan and Costello's relationship. And there are those fantastically executed scenes that kept me in the edge of my seat.

This comes to mind. God that hurt.

So in the end, it was Ok, but I don't know why it got so much praise. Sure, the characters are awesome (Nicholson steals the show, surprise!), the soundtrack is great and perfectly goes along with the movie, and plenty of scenes are very good: but the plot is unnecessarily convoluted and repetitive, it gives itself away and things aren't wrapped up properly. The whole film is a big "but", for every thing it does right, it does something wrong. Your enjoyment depends on how willing to overlook the latter you are, I suppose. I wasn't.

#14 - Fight Club (1999)

Finally, Fight Club. You know, I was about to watch this one a while ago, it was probably the 3rd or 4th one in the list. But after I mentioned the whole list thing to my dad he said he didn't really like it. Don't think I'm that suggestionable, but still, I kept saying to myself "this will be the next one" until I finally sat down and watched it. And just like the general consensus on it, I'm not sure whether I like it or not.

The plot is kind of weird. Our nameless narrator (Edward Norton) is stuck in a dead-end job, has an obsession with buying Ikea furniture, and suffers from insomnia (which he deals with by crying at support groups pretending he has testicular cancer) among other weird character traits. During a flight he befriends Tyler, a soap salesman (Brad Pitt), who he ends up staying with after his apartment is destroyed by an explosion. After being involved in a series of street brawls, they both start the eponymous fight club. And things just keep fucking up after that.

So yes, in a certain way it reminds me of the Clockwork Orange. Everything about this movie is so surreally twisted it doesn't make sense at times. Norton's character has all the aforementioned crap, Tyler is an anti-consumerist anarchist and Marla (played by Helena Bonham Carter, aka that chick that pops up in every Tim Burton film ever) is just as weird. She is tied up into the plot very awkwardly: the narrator keeps bumping into her in the support groups to the point that she creeps him out, she then becomes sexually involved with Tyler but shares emotional moments with the narrator... Some people like that style, some don't. I think it's Ok.

Hugging morbidly obese men to get proper sleep... Nope, can't relate to that.

Another thing that bothers me is the anti-consumerist message behind the film. While I support that idea, this is a VERY hypocritical statement, given that this movie has a 63 million dollar budget. And Brad Pitt probably wipes his ass with 20 dollar bills. Even then, the message is not conveyed very well. The message I really liked is how this concept of "society brainwashes you" ends up brainwashing those that believe it. That is fantastic. I was instantly reminded of, say, hipster culture: how ignoring a fad can become a fad on itself, or how some people spend more money to look like they have less.

And phrases like "The things you used to own, now they own you." are awesome.

In the end, I'm not quite sure on how I feel about this. The characters and plot can be both original or awkwardly weird depending on your taste; the message may not be conveyed properly; the ending, which I won't give away, can be either very cliche'd or brilliantly executed.... It is a movie you have to see for yourself to decide.

#13 - Nueve Reinas (2000)

Please, excuse this occasional moment of national pride, since I don't get plenty of them. For a while I had disregarded my country's movies, until an Argentine film won an Academy Award for best foreign picture and... well, I started to pay more attention to homegrown productions (even though most movies produced here are garbage) and I stumbled upon this one a couple of times. I had never fully seen it and now that I have I just have to spread the word. It's so good, that an American version was made (starring John C. Reilly), and even Bollywood made their best attempt to bastardize it. Three times, according to Wikipedia.

Sorry India. I loved Slumdog Millionaire, but the rest of your movie résumé is just... ugh.

The movie is about Juan, a small time crook (Gastón Pauls) who is taken under the wing of Marcos, a professional con artist (Ricardo Darín). After getting acquainted, Marcos gets a "business opportunity" in the form of selling nine very rare stamps to a millionaire Spaniard philatelist (counterfeit, of course). Pretty much the biggest scam of their lives. But that isn't an easy task by any means: everything just keeps fucking up.


Deceit is the biggest theme in the movie, naturally, it is both of the main characters' way of life. And as the plot progresses, both Juan and the audience start to feel skeptical about the situation. Is Marcos just using him in the same way he seems to be using everyone else? The Spaniard, what if he's ripping them off as well?  Most of the characters here ARE con artists, after all, and this is a very big fucking deal with incredibly unreliable people, and even then the film manages to hint these very cleverly. Oh, and the ending is just perfect.

He's probably flipping you the bird with his other hand.

The lead performances are spot-on. Juan is surprisingly relatable despite being a thief, and Marcos is just fantastic: you can't get enough of how cleverly he tricks everyone around him. Even then, the supporting cast is the true strength of the movie. You have Marcos's sister who has had it with his bullshit and tries to keep a distance from him, even when she is involved in the scam indirectly; the Spaniard that even when he's the one that's being fooled, has still the edge on the situation; the owner of the true stamps that is unwilling to give them up... There isn't a single character here that I felt wasn't developed enough or wasn't entertaining to watch.

The biggest issue with this film is the country of origin, though. We are used to, for instance, missing clever wordplays and slang that are lost in translation, incredible voice work that is absent in dubs, and aspects of Western culture we understand after being fed so many American tv shows and movies. I am aware that there are English dubs and subtitles for this movie but even then most the movie's charm and realism is lost when viewed by a non-Argentine.

It's sad that everyone can recognise an activity as intelectually degrading as cheerleading,

but next to no American will ever read Jorge Luis Borges.

But even then, the plot and characters are still good enough to make the movie enjoyable for those unfamiliar with our culture. Just please keep in mind that not every single person in my country is a hustler. Unless you mean our government.

#12 - Kramer vs. Kramer (1979)

I'll try not to go over this again, but the reason why this movie appealed so much to me is because my parents got divorced a month ago and it's been a pretty shitty situation. It's a nice movie to watch if your family is going through that: it offers a pretty optimistic outlook while not being a corny, melodramatic, unrealistic Disney fantasy piece of crap. But enough of that, here's my views on this flick.

In case you haven't figured it out yet, divorce is the central conflict here. Joanna Kramer (Meryl Streep) is divorcing her husband Ted (Dustin Hoffman) and leaving him with their child, mostly because he's a workaholic neglecting jerk that "sucked all the life out of her" and shit, so he has to deal with a kid he has barely spent any time with during most of his parenthood. And, you guessed it, right after they start to get along the mother comes back and the fight for the kid's custody begins.

While I'm sure I've seen this formula plenty of times before, this is one of the first movies to adress the issue if I'm not mistaken. You know, with the concept of family starting to change back in the late 70's and stuff. So I'll give the movie credit for that.

The characters are really easy to connect: both have their flaws and strengths when it comes to their personality and their position in the marriage: sure, Joanna is the one that leaves, but to her credit she is the one that was trying to keep the marriage going while Ted was busy playing Minesweeper at his office or something. And while Ted used to not give a damn about his family he ends up really caring about the kid, to the point of... ok, I won't spoil it, but he's commited. There's a bunch of nice supporting characters here and there that add to the film. Except the kid. Why do they go through all that trouble to keep that annoying brat from the each other, I can't really tell.

This is nice, but I wouldn't mind some child abuse here and there. Kidding.

I feel the movie tries to support both points of view, but it's hard to want the kid to go with his mother when she's absent for most of the movie. We only see the "Kramer vs. Kramer" part in the last half an hour or something. The entire movie is seen from the point of view of Hoffman's character and that really doesn't help us sympathise with both equally. Maybe it's just because I'm a dude, but hey, I felt more supportive of his endeavor because we spend more time with him and his conflict.

I'm sorry, it's hard to feel sorry for the woman that played this. Wait, this was decades before that...

So yeah, in the end, it was an enjoyable movie. It's a lot more personal if you are familiar with divorces or just an unsatisfactory marriage (90% of marriages are estimated to fail... so probably, yes). The outcome, as I said, is pretty optimistic. And even if you can't relate to the situation, it's a good movie to watch.

#11 - Airplane! (1980)

Leslie Nielsen. Period. I can't help but automatically love anything this guy does. If you have seen movies like Police Squad!, or the Naked Gun trilogy, you HAVE to watch it. And I can just recommend it to anyone with a sense of humor in general.

The premise goes something like this: during an airplane flight, the fish dinner goes bad and causes food poisoning to some of the passangers... including the three pilots. So a traumatised ex fighter pilot (Robert Hayes), his stewardess exgirlfriend (Julie Hagerty) and a doctor (Leslie Nielsen) try to save the passangers from their impending doom.

The movie's humoristic style is superb. It just never takes itself seriously: when you think a serious phonecall is going on, suddenly... you realize there is a horse sleeping next to the woman on the phone. That kind of jokes just don't let you take your eyes off the screen: there is always something silly going on, even, for example, in the background. It's like the movie itself doesn't want you to care for the nonsensical plot. But while it's absurd humor, there is always something something smart behind it. One of the radar screens being actually a laundry machine, for instance, is so surprisingly stupid, it's clever.

The autopilot being an inflatable doll? Genius.

Aside from that nonsensical stuff, you have some of the best running gags I have ever seen. Like, whenever the ex-pilot has a flashback that keeps going on and on everyone around him kill themselves out of boredom. Or whenever everyone asks what they just heard in surprise, they are answered with a thesaurus definition of said thing. Or the black dude's slang being treated as another language (with subtitles and everything).Or the guy back at the airport who has picked a bad week to stop... smoking, drinking, anphetamines...

And how can we forget "Don't call me Shirley."

Another highlight of the film's goofiness is the actors' performances. With the exception of the air traffic controller, which was so stupid it just wasn't as funny, the rest of the cast react to all the nonsense around them like it's nothing. They seem so natural, so oblivious to the fact that there's a nun and a Hare Krishna monk/thingy beating the crap out of each other right next to them, it's just hilarious.

Summing up, this is one of the funniest movies I have ever watched. It's 30 years old and still beats any comedy movie released in the last couple of years. Suck it, Hangover. I can't think of anyone that could watch it and not have a laugh.