#71 - The Fifth Element (1997)

I once walked in on my dad as he was watching Resident Evil. I can't tell which, they're all the same garbage. Knowing that I'm a big fan of the games, he asked "I don't get it, what were this chick's (Mila Jovovich's character) powers again?" "I have no idea, dad, she isn't in the game. See what I say when I say it's a shitty adaptation?" We kept talking about how much of a terrible actress Jovovich is and how she got a leading role made for her just because she's the director's wife, and the conversation jumped to the Fifth Element and how shitty it was. I don't know why I didn't listen to his advice and watched it (I'm running out of films after all), but you know what? It wasn't that bad. If you acknowledge how bad it is. Uh, does that make any sense?

The plot in the Fifth Element starts out with an alien race taking some stones (that embody the four elements and a statue) from an Egyptian temples that will help them supress an evil force. Then we jump to 300 years in the future where this evil force, appropriately called "The Great Evil" pops up to destroy the universe or something. The statue is reborn as a chick, Leeloo (Mila Jovovich), who after a series of shenanigans pops up in Korben Dallas's (Bruce Willis) cab. And the two must recover the other four stones to put a stop to the Great Evil. Does it sound stupid? Yes. Yes it is.

So the main (and pretty much the only) reason anyone would watch the Fifth Element is for its intentionally campy nature. Is it bad? Yeah, that's the idea! The plot is terrible and the aliens look so fucking stupid, for instance. And then there's the intentionally awkward acting too, like Gary Oldman's hilariously over the top villian or Mila Jovovich's... everything (watch her say Multipass and LAUGH). It is surprisingly funny and enjoyable, except when the campiness gets out of hand: Chris Tucker's character, for instance, is way, way too flamboyant, squeaky-voiced and annoying.

 

I cannot stress the word flamboyant enough. He ruins every scene he's in.

The futuristic world the movie portrays is pretty damn interesting, too. It's kind of like Brazil (which I reviewed a while ago) but ten times more vibrant, colorful and outlandish. They don't just resort to the usual "put neon in everything" trick and instead paint everything with bright colors and put a billion little bright items on top. And if you couldn't tell by that Chris Tucker picture above, everyone is dressed like they're extras on a Lady Gaga music video. Or Gaga herself.

 

Go ahead and tell me this isn't something she would wear.

The Fifth Element is hands down the most campy film I have ever seen. Thus, most people will not enjoy it one bit. But if you're the kind of person that watches, say, Batman and Robin and laughs at how incredibly terrible it is (myself included), give it a watch with that mindset and you'll have a good time. That's it, it's so bad I enjoyed it.

#70 - American Psycho (2000)

I'm going to be honest: I'm running out of films and the sole reason why I'm watching American Psycho is because of that meme with Christian Bale holding an axe while smiling and covered in blood. What can I say, one of the reasons why I started the list was to understand it when people reference the movies. So yeah, if that's why I wanted to watch it, you can say American Psycho is not a particularly interesting movie. I enjoyed it nonetheless.

American Psycho introduces Partick Bateman, a metrosexual, sucessful yuppie that happens to be a serial killer. Whenever something annoys him, he goes out and kills people, or the object of his annoyance. As you might expect, the film sometimes doesn't take itself seriously. Some parts are actually funny because of this. The iconic part where he kills a friend of his with a big smile on his face, or when another guy mistakes his murder attempt for a sexual advance and comes out to him. But the overall tone is dramatic with bits of comedy.

  

Never has the word "douche" been so perfectly described with a picture.

 The film's main theme is the underlying viciousness in modern life. Well, businessmen's life to be more precise. Patrick simply takes all the agressiveness these men usually save for doing business, and turns it into actual physical violence. For instance, when Patrick's workmates flash their business cards, they act like they were hunting trophies or something. "I've got the best card" is something like "I have the biggest dick". The idea is really interesting and properly executed.

Christian Bale's performance is pretty solid. Bateman is incredibly vain, egotistical and greedy, and all that fuels his murderous rage, killing everyone he comes across when he's particularly annoyed. And Bale plays the character very well, both when he is applying excessive makeup as a metrosexual yuppie jerk, and when he's viciously killing a coworker with an axe while listening to Huey Lewis and the New's "Hip to Be Square".

  

"Killer" music, man (I'm so funny).

Now, as the film goes on it gets pretty weird. Eventually Patrick realizes that some of the murders did not happen, and were indeed just a fantasy (I doubt you can aim a chainsaw at the end of a staircase and hit your target). It helps to solidify the film's main idea of frustrated frenzy but I didn't think it was a satisfying conclusion.

American Psycho is a pretty good film. in the end. But it doesn't really stand out a lot. It's enjoyable, but not particularly funny or memorable. Hm, I've been saying the same thing for the last three-something films. I hope it doesn't become a trend.

#69 - Mrs. Doubtfire (1993)

I can't really remember why I added this film into the list, really. I knew it was a pretty successful comedy and I didn't feel like watching anything but a lighthearted film today (due to my wierd but convenient college schedule, my week starts on Tuesdays), so what the heck. While Mrs. Doubtfire is not particularly funny, but it at least kept me entertained for two hours.

Robin Williams stars as Daniel, a recently divorced, recently unemployed, recently everything man whose workaholic ex-wife has most of the custody over their children. She writes a request for a nanny in the newspaper and Daniel, wanting to keep in touch with his kids, uses his voice acting skills and gay makeup artist brother to disguise himself as a 60 year old English lady to look after the kids. And he spends the rest of the film (surprise) trying not to get his cover blown.

        

Props to the real makeup artists. Looks fantastic.

So, as expected, the spotlight is always on Daniel. So your enjoyment of the film depends largely on how much you like Robin Williams and his personal style. I'm not a huge fan on Robin Williams's manchild style, but it didn't really bother me either (unlike Jim Carrey in last week's Truman Show).

While the wife and kids play their roles pretty good, I found it weird that two teenage kids didn't find a mobile petting zoo or an Brit nanny lame, particularly since this film was made in the 90's and not being "lame" was a pretty high social priority. The film could have exploited that factor a little but what the heck. Oh, and Pierce Brosnan plays the ex-wife's hot new boyfriend. That was nice.

So, the big question is, is Mrs. Doubtfire funny? Eh, sorta. Like I said, if you find Robin Williams's childlike antics amusing, you'll think it's funny. If you find it annoying, well, don't watch the film. I'm kind of in between myself. The film got a couple of chuckles out of me, but I didn't find it particularly funny. Entertaining? Yes, totally, but not funny. I can't even pinpoint any remarkably funny parts.

        

It still is better than all those abysmal films where a "comedic" actor plays a female version of himself.

Mrs. Doubtfire is not bad, nor mediocre. It's entertaining, even, but that's it. I can't recommend it, since it is extremely forgettable and you have plenty of better comedies to watch. Maybe if you really like Robin Williams you'll like it a lot, but in the other case, it is not worth watching. At all.

#68 - Tropa de Élite (2007)

You probably don't know what Tropa de Élite is, heck, not even with its English name (Elite Squad). It's a Brazilian film on the tension between the Rio de Janeiro police force and the drug dealers from the favelas. And you know what? You're not missing out on anything. I had Portuguese at high school, and it's not a very useful language (not even given that I live in a country bordering Brazil) so nobody took the subject seriously and we were always nagging our teachers for movies or something, and Tropa de Élite kept being the most requested one. We never got to see it, though. And after watching it on my own, I don't regret it.

Tropa de Élite is part drama/crime film, part documentary. Thingy. The narrator is a captain of the BOPE (pretty much the Brazilian SWAT), who is starting a family and wants to get someone to replace him as captain, all while he has to lead an operation to secure the Pope on his visit. On the meanwhile, two rookie policemen climb the ranks while trying to stay away from corruption and do the right thing and all that. The different storylines are woven together surprisingly well, but at the same time I wasn't drawn in too much by the plot.

       

Let's spend millions of Reais protecting one man's safety while millions are starving around him. Genius.

One of the things I liked about the film is the depiction of crime and corruption in the favelas. The arrangements done between the police and the dealers, the bribes, and schemes, such as paying the police for "extra" protection, or dumping bodies in another precinct to decrease their own crime rate, that was pretty shocking. The depiction is shows on cops is rather impartial, in some ocassions being corrupt and greedy and in others... well, a little overglorified, but it doesn't really get out of hand.

All that being said, there's nothing in Tropa de Élite you won't find in reality cop shows. Aside from the drama and the setting there's nothing special about it. Maybe it's a personal thing, but I didn't find it appealing. If you want to watch a film on the favelas, drug lords and all that so you can get the wrong idea of what my subcontinent is like, I'd suggest and recommend Cidade de Deus (City of God). It's a really good film on its own, too. Sorry for the short review, but I wasn't that interested in the film, really.

   

    Trust me, Cidade de Deus is ten times better.

#67 - Léon: The Professional (1994)

You know those films that are very good, but at the same time, there isn't anything special about it? Léon: The Professional is one of those. It doesn't stand out, following the "lonely, preferrably old guy reluctantly meets young character that grows into him" tried and true formula. It adds a twist to it with interesting ideas and original characters, and on itself it is a great film. It just doesn't have the same impact as, say, Gran Torino.

Jean Reno stars as Léon, a solitary hitman (his best friend, as he puts it, is his houseplant). He lives next to Mathilda (a young Natalie Portman), a 12 year old girl abused by her dysfunctional family. And by dysfunctional, I mean that to the point that her father hides coke in their apartment. And that gets Mathilda's family killed by a corrupt Drug Enforcement Administration agent, Norman Stansfield (Gary Oldman). Léon reluctantly saves Mathilda, hides her from Stansfield. And eventually takes her under his wing and teaches her to become a "cleaner", to exact revenge on Stansfield.

 

Don't worry, the film is good enough to make a 12-year-old hitman believable.

The chemistry between Léon and Mathilda is phenomenal. I know it's the usual reluctant couple that eventually warms up to each other, and Léon is the usual lonely, grumpy (well, not so much) guy and Mathilda is the usual annoying girl that later on becomes a more mature person, but it still works. It may get a tad creepy when Mathilda starts having a crush on Léon. Asking him to kiss her and such. But other than that, the relationship between the two is more of a father-daughter thing, and it's well executed.

The "villian", Stansfield, totally steals the show, though. And I say "villian", because the Gary Oldman's performance is really exaggerated. Don't get me wrong, it doesn't kill the more serious tone of the rest of the film,  but it adds a little campiness and humor to the film while still being menacing. He comes with all the clichés: comparing his murders to art, yelling at his "henchmen": he's batshit crazy. That could be a turndown to some people but hey, I personally enjoyed it. And the way he goes down, oh man.

 

You'd freak out too if Gary Oldman started sniffing you.

That being said, Léon: The Professional isn't a film that stands out a lot. It is a very good movie and I enjoyed it a lot, but there isn't anything remarkably special about it. Despite the fact that it has great characters and actors to go with them, we've seen the same story a lot of times already. Er, maybe there weren't hitmen in the formula before, but at its core it's the same movie. There are a lot of better films out there but go ahead and give it a watch if you want, you won't be dissapointed.

#66 - God Bless America (2011)

Almost two weeks ago I watched Idiocracy, and, well, as a sattire on American's cult of mediocirty, it turned out to be just as stupid as what it was trying to parodize. It had a really good premise but the execution was terrible. God Bless America, on the other hand, does everything Idiocracy should have done: it has the perfect balance between over the top humorous scenes and slower-paced, more insightful scenes, while still keeping a subtle humorous tone.

The main character in the movie is Frank, a man who couldn't possibly be more frustrated with his life. Divorced, his daugher hates him, recently fired, has a brain tumor, and thinks the society he lives in is shit. About to commit suicide, he sees a reality show on tv where, spoofing Sweet 16, the spoiled birthday girl berates her parents for not getting the car she asked. He decides to kill her first, and then kill himself. A classmate of hers, Roxy, sees what happens and encourages Frank to take down everyone who commits acts of similar stupidity or cruelty. As in, clean up the rubbish in American society.

With a premise like that, you can rest assured that the film has plenty of incredibly over the top, violent scenes, mostly involving the murder of bigot religious groups, a hateful neo-conservative tv commentator, or even minor annoyances, like loud teenagers in a cinema or an asshole that double parks. And those are really hilarious, just for the absurdity of the situation. You could say the film can get kind of sick or twisted (this is, after all, a teenage girl encouraging a middle aged man to kill people), but hey, isn't that what dark comedy is about?

 

It does get a little out hand, when she wants him to love her or something. At least Frank refuses.

Like I said, the film is not just big, loud and dumb sequences. There are plenty of conversations, particularly between Frank and the idiots he is trying to correct. The topics they go through are fantastic: how we live in a generation that celebrates mediocrity and rewards stupidity, and hateful, untrue messages make more money than honesty. How television has become a freak show, a distraction, and the effects it has on everyday life.

The film starts out with plenty of those insightful converations (in particular one in his office), only to wear out a bit later on. It still spouts out some smart phrases every now and then, and there's always more subtle criticism. In one moment, Frank's company fires him after he gives a coworker flowers, reflecting the paranoia America has against sexual harrassment; Frank's daughter bitches about wanting an iPhone instead of the Blackberry she got, mimicking the Sweet 16 spoof; and whenever someone turns on the tv every show is exploiting the American Idol spoof' where a man is ridiculed for his perfomance only to later on pretend to commit suicide just so the media can keep milking off the story.

 

This is the "oh no you didn't say that!" generation, where a shocking comment has more weight than the truth.

That was the point where I was convinced the movie is fucking genius. You see, television in my country works the same way: the biggest show in the air introduces a story, as in, one of the celebrities there "fights" another, and at least 5 shows the next day discuss the fight and interview said celebrity. Back at the big show, the fight could go on or end, only to introduce another one in the latter case. It's all obviously staged and formulaic, but everyone still buys it and watches it! I have yet to see a film that so successfully depicts my indignation at such a stupid society.

God Bless America is a really good film. It doens't have great characters or performances, or plot for that matter, but the social criticism behind it is plentiful, spot-on, and fucking brilliant. Don't let the over the top nature of the movie suggest you otherwise. Plus, I had a couple of laughs. That certainly helps.

#65 - Gone With the Wind (1939)

Fucking finally. You could say the single reason I've been postponing this film is its astonishing length: almost four freaking hours. I can gladly assure you it paid off, though, because Gone With the Wind is definitely one of the best films I have ever seen.

Gone With the Wind is a romantic film with a war epic setting: the American Civil War, (mid 19th century for those not on the know). The main character, played by Vivien Leigh, is Scarlett O'Hara, a spoiled and selfish young lady who has every male character wrapped around her finger. In other words, a complete bitch. And she has a crush on the only man that doesn't want her (surprise), Ashley Wilkes (Leslie Howard). But, oh, surprise again, he doesn't love her back, and instead loves her sister. Clark Gable's character, Rhett Butler, closes up the love triangle as an incredbly charming gentleman who's totally into Scarlett. She's kind of into him, too, so she's torn between the two.

  

Come on, you know the outcome.

As the film goes on, so does the Civil War, and Scarlett's wealthy plantation is burned down and destroyed, her husband dies in the war, and Rhett goes fight the Yankees. Scarlett, now determined to restore her estate to its former glory, works her ass off and marries a wealthy man, only to control his fortune... I won't keep spoiling the movie, but it's hard to summarize a 4-hour long film. I wouldn't have it any other way, though, since a lot happens in the film.

In the end, it all builds up on Scarlett's character development. Like I said, she is a manipulative bitch, but I still found the character very interesting: despite how much she goes through, how hard her life gets, how many men she ends up with, how many people she has to help... she always cares only for herself. And it works, surprisingly: she would be an incredibly annoying and despicable character if it weren't for her free-spirited nature and her craving for independance. During an era where women were starting to become more independent (the late 30's, not the Civil War!),Vivien Leigh's performance coudln't have been more appealing. And it still is today.

  

It's ok to embrace with your sluttiness every once in a while. Getting laid with Clark Gable is a great excuse.

And Clark Gable is just perfect on his role. Not only is Rhett incredibly charming and sophisticated, he still has a certain air of witty, sarcastic arrogance. It's impossible not to like him, and steals every scene. The rest of the cast is really good as well. Some characters that stand out are the aforementioned Ashley, Scarlett's sister Melanie and Mammy, the black maid (first black person to win an Oscar, for fuck's sake!).

I always feel like I have to write a "but" paragraph, since I like to clearly point out the pros and cons of every film I watch, but I can't really think of any reasons not to like the film. Aside from the fact that it goes on for too long. And other nitpicks like the female character's ocassionally squeaky voices or the incredibly inaccurate depiction of slavery. I'm no expert in the matter, but come on, wasn't the South in a fucking war to keep abusing them at the time? Why was every character so nice to them?

Don't let that fool you: Gone With the Wind is among the top 5 best films I came across in this list despite its incredibly minor flaws. The character performances and the chemistry between them is perfect, along with the story and dialogue. A definite must-watch classic.

#64 - The Butterfly Effect (2004)

You know, just as I finished watching this film and googled it to check up on stuff like the date and actors, I found out the reviews for this film were pretty harsh. And I don't understand why. Ok, I admit it has some hiccups here and there but what movie doesn't? It is certainly beyond decent; pretty damn good if I say so myself. It isn't certainly the best film on the eponymous subject, since it just exploits it as a plot device rather than exploring, but it certailny isn't the worse either.

Probably every movie that deals with the subject of time travel EVER has featured the so called "Butterfly Effect", based on Chaos theory. In case you're not familiar with it (rewatch Jurassic Park right now), it states that small unpredicted events or changes in variables will eventually affect the results drastically. The film is entirely based around it: Ashton Kutcher plays Evan, a kid that suffers from a condition in which he blacks out and then wakes up with no memory of what just happened. As he grows up, Evan goes through several traumatic incidents, in particular:

- At age 7, He and his childhood sweetheart, Kayleigh, are forced into child porn by her father.

- At age 13, Kayleigh's sadistic brother, Tommy, forces Evan, Kayleigh and Lenny (a friend of Evan's), to blow up a neighbour's mailbox, accidentally killing a woman and her baby.

- Tommy kills Evan's dog after he starts dating his sister, after threatening Lenny not to do anything about it.

 

Props to Jesse James as Tommy, that was disturbingly believable.

Now in college, Evan discovers he can travel back in time to whenever he blacked out and change the events, altering his life. For instance, he goes back to the child porn bit and bullies Kayleigh's father into leaving her alone and disciplining Tommy, and he ends up dating her and becoming a frat boy. But everything has consequences, and Tommy ends up being abused by his father instead, leaving him psychotic and tries to kill Evan.

Thus, Evan changes the timeline again, this time asking Lenny to cut the rope holding his dog to make up for his guilt after killing the woman and the baby. He instead kills Tommy and is sent to a psychiatric institution, and Kayliegh becomes a whore... somehow. Every time he tries to change the past, everything still somehow messes up. The intricate timelines and overall plot are really clever and imaginative.

 

In another timeline Evan jumps into the mailbox... Yikes.

But the execution of these timelines isn't just as good. Some things, like the aforementioned whore thingy, doesn't really make a lot of sense. Plus, the consequences of Evan's time-travelling shenanigans are somewhat limited: they may severely change one character's life (Lenny goes from Kayliegh's boyfriend to a mental patient) but not the lives of the other characters. And they only seem to affect the four main characters (aside from Evan's mother in one timeline).

Aside those minor inconsistencies, the film has other problems. Ashton Kutcher's performance is pretty mediocre, and it is a shame because the rest of the acting is really good, particularly given all the different personalities the characters end up with. I have to give him credit for not, say, hyperventilating through the whole flick or going "oh, this can't be real" every five minutes, but I would have preferred other actor.

 

Derp! Jake Gyllenhaal is out, this film is too similar to Donnie Darko already.

In the end, I really, really liked this film, despite all its mistakes. Say what you want about being flung back and forward all the time with all the flashbacks, but I enjoyed it. If the mistakes in the plot were fixed and we didn't have the actor that ruined Two and a Half Men as the leading role (it wasn't that good of a show to begin with anyway), it would have been a fantastic film. Nonetheless, I highly recommend watching it.

#63 - From Dusk Till Dawn (1996)

One thing I have mentioned more than once in this blog is how much I like Quentin Tarantino's personal style. With the exception of Kill Bill vol. 2 I loved every one of his films, hell, Pupl Fiction is one of my favorite movies of all time. But even when his films are intentionally violent in excess, there is always some cleverness or wit behind them. Now, Robert Rodriguez's films, that's is an entirely different story. They are pointlessly stupid and intentionally violent, cliche'd and cheesy. And I love that.

From Dusk Till Dawn starts out with two brothers (George Clooney and Quentin Tarantino) wanted by the FBI. They kidnap a priest and his family (Harvey Keitel) to take their RV to Mexico and escape the police. A contact of them told them to meet up at dawn in a desolate stripper club. So far it sounds like a normal heist film, right? Oh yeah, turns out everyone in the strip club are vampires.

 

Wait, what?

Ok. That was one of the most weird transitions I have ever witnessed. Up until the film's tone was a little over the top, but it didn't have any fucking vampires. But is that really a bad thing? As long as they don't sparkle, vampires make any good action/crime film better. Particularly if they are brought to the screen with so intentionally terrible special effects. This isn't even B-movie quality, but you won't care.

So if it has such an incredibly stupid premise and the execution is so intentionally terrible in everything, why do I like it so much? Well, that sheer stupidity is what makes the film shine. Rodriguez is one of the best directors ever when it comes to making very good exploitation B-movies: it takes itself seriously enough to not become a full-on parody, but it still is goofy enough to remind you it's made like that intentionally.

I can't really recommend From Dusk Till Dawn in general, since it's such a stupid mess of a movie; but if you did like films like Machete or Grindhouse, then by all means watch this film, because you will like it just as much. If the absurdity of the premise instantly turns you down, do not watch it.

 

Dat codpiece.