#71 - The Fifth Element (1997)

I once walked in on my dad as he was watching Resident Evil. I can't tell which, they're all the same garbage. Knowing that I'm a big fan of the games, he asked "I don't get it, what were this chick's (Mila Jovovich's character) powers again?" "I have no idea, dad, she isn't in the game. See what I say when I say it's a shitty adaptation?" We kept talking about how much of a terrible actress Jovovich is and how she got a leading role made for her just because she's the director's wife, and the conversation jumped to the Fifth Element and how shitty it was. I don't know why I didn't listen to his advice and watched it (I'm running out of films after all), but you know what? It wasn't that bad. If you acknowledge how bad it is. Uh, does that make any sense?

The plot in the Fifth Element starts out with an alien race taking some stones (that embody the four elements and a statue) from an Egyptian temples that will help them supress an evil force. Then we jump to 300 years in the future where this evil force, appropriately called "The Great Evil" pops up to destroy the universe or something. The statue is reborn as a chick, Leeloo (Mila Jovovich), who after a series of shenanigans pops up in Korben Dallas's (Bruce Willis) cab. And the two must recover the other four stones to put a stop to the Great Evil. Does it sound stupid? Yes. Yes it is.

So the main (and pretty much the only) reason anyone would watch the Fifth Element is for its intentionally campy nature. Is it bad? Yeah, that's the idea! The plot is terrible and the aliens look so fucking stupid, for instance. And then there's the intentionally awkward acting too, like Gary Oldman's hilariously over the top villian or Mila Jovovich's... everything (watch her say Multipass and LAUGH). It is surprisingly funny and enjoyable, except when the campiness gets out of hand: Chris Tucker's character, for instance, is way, way too flamboyant, squeaky-voiced and annoying.

 

I cannot stress the word flamboyant enough. He ruins every scene he's in.

The futuristic world the movie portrays is pretty damn interesting, too. It's kind of like Brazil (which I reviewed a while ago) but ten times more vibrant, colorful and outlandish. They don't just resort to the usual "put neon in everything" trick and instead paint everything with bright colors and put a billion little bright items on top. And if you couldn't tell by that Chris Tucker picture above, everyone is dressed like they're extras on a Lady Gaga music video. Or Gaga herself.

 

Go ahead and tell me this isn't something she would wear.

The Fifth Element is hands down the most campy film I have ever seen. Thus, most people will not enjoy it one bit. But if you're the kind of person that watches, say, Batman and Robin and laughs at how incredibly terrible it is (myself included), give it a watch with that mindset and you'll have a good time. That's it, it's so bad I enjoyed it.

#70 - American Psycho (2000)

I'm going to be honest: I'm running out of films and the sole reason why I'm watching American Psycho is because of that meme with Christian Bale holding an axe while smiling and covered in blood. What can I say, one of the reasons why I started the list was to understand it when people reference the movies. So yeah, if that's why I wanted to watch it, you can say American Psycho is not a particularly interesting movie. I enjoyed it nonetheless.

American Psycho introduces Partick Bateman, a metrosexual, sucessful yuppie that happens to be a serial killer. Whenever something annoys him, he goes out and kills people, or the object of his annoyance. As you might expect, the film sometimes doesn't take itself seriously. Some parts are actually funny because of this. The iconic part where he kills a friend of his with a big smile on his face, or when another guy mistakes his murder attempt for a sexual advance and comes out to him. But the overall tone is dramatic with bits of comedy.

  

Never has the word "douche" been so perfectly described with a picture.

 The film's main theme is the underlying viciousness in modern life. Well, businessmen's life to be more precise. Patrick simply takes all the agressiveness these men usually save for doing business, and turns it into actual physical violence. For instance, when Patrick's workmates flash their business cards, they act like they were hunting trophies or something. "I've got the best card" is something like "I have the biggest dick". The idea is really interesting and properly executed.

Christian Bale's performance is pretty solid. Bateman is incredibly vain, egotistical and greedy, and all that fuels his murderous rage, killing everyone he comes across when he's particularly annoyed. And Bale plays the character very well, both when he is applying excessive makeup as a metrosexual yuppie jerk, and when he's viciously killing a coworker with an axe while listening to Huey Lewis and the New's "Hip to Be Square".

  

"Killer" music, man (I'm so funny).

Now, as the film goes on it gets pretty weird. Eventually Patrick realizes that some of the murders did not happen, and were indeed just a fantasy (I doubt you can aim a chainsaw at the end of a staircase and hit your target). It helps to solidify the film's main idea of frustrated frenzy but I didn't think it was a satisfying conclusion.

American Psycho is a pretty good film. in the end. But it doesn't really stand out a lot. It's enjoyable, but not particularly funny or memorable. Hm, I've been saying the same thing for the last three-something films. I hope it doesn't become a trend.

#69 - Mrs. Doubtfire (1993)

I can't really remember why I added this film into the list, really. I knew it was a pretty successful comedy and I didn't feel like watching anything but a lighthearted film today (due to my wierd but convenient college schedule, my week starts on Tuesdays), so what the heck. While Mrs. Doubtfire is not particularly funny, but it at least kept me entertained for two hours.

Robin Williams stars as Daniel, a recently divorced, recently unemployed, recently everything man whose workaholic ex-wife has most of the custody over their children. She writes a request for a nanny in the newspaper and Daniel, wanting to keep in touch with his kids, uses his voice acting skills and gay makeup artist brother to disguise himself as a 60 year old English lady to look after the kids. And he spends the rest of the film (surprise) trying not to get his cover blown.

        

Props to the real makeup artists. Looks fantastic.

So, as expected, the spotlight is always on Daniel. So your enjoyment of the film depends largely on how much you like Robin Williams and his personal style. I'm not a huge fan on Robin Williams's manchild style, but it didn't really bother me either (unlike Jim Carrey in last week's Truman Show).

While the wife and kids play their roles pretty good, I found it weird that two teenage kids didn't find a mobile petting zoo or an Brit nanny lame, particularly since this film was made in the 90's and not being "lame" was a pretty high social priority. The film could have exploited that factor a little but what the heck. Oh, and Pierce Brosnan plays the ex-wife's hot new boyfriend. That was nice.

So, the big question is, is Mrs. Doubtfire funny? Eh, sorta. Like I said, if you find Robin Williams's childlike antics amusing, you'll think it's funny. If you find it annoying, well, don't watch the film. I'm kind of in between myself. The film got a couple of chuckles out of me, but I didn't find it particularly funny. Entertaining? Yes, totally, but not funny. I can't even pinpoint any remarkably funny parts.

        

It still is better than all those abysmal films where a "comedic" actor plays a female version of himself.

Mrs. Doubtfire is not bad, nor mediocre. It's entertaining, even, but that's it. I can't recommend it, since it is extremely forgettable and you have plenty of better comedies to watch. Maybe if you really like Robin Williams you'll like it a lot, but in the other case, it is not worth watching. At all.

#68 - Tropa de Élite (2007)

You probably don't know what Tropa de Élite is, heck, not even with its English name (Elite Squad). It's a Brazilian film on the tension between the Rio de Janeiro police force and the drug dealers from the favelas. And you know what? You're not missing out on anything. I had Portuguese at high school, and it's not a very useful language (not even given that I live in a country bordering Brazil) so nobody took the subject seriously and we were always nagging our teachers for movies or something, and Tropa de Élite kept being the most requested one. We never got to see it, though. And after watching it on my own, I don't regret it.

Tropa de Élite is part drama/crime film, part documentary. Thingy. The narrator is a captain of the BOPE (pretty much the Brazilian SWAT), who is starting a family and wants to get someone to replace him as captain, all while he has to lead an operation to secure the Pope on his visit. On the meanwhile, two rookie policemen climb the ranks while trying to stay away from corruption and do the right thing and all that. The different storylines are woven together surprisingly well, but at the same time I wasn't drawn in too much by the plot.

       

Let's spend millions of Reais protecting one man's safety while millions are starving around him. Genius.

One of the things I liked about the film is the depiction of crime and corruption in the favelas. The arrangements done between the police and the dealers, the bribes, and schemes, such as paying the police for "extra" protection, or dumping bodies in another precinct to decrease their own crime rate, that was pretty shocking. The depiction is shows on cops is rather impartial, in some ocassions being corrupt and greedy and in others... well, a little overglorified, but it doesn't really get out of hand.

All that being said, there's nothing in Tropa de Élite you won't find in reality cop shows. Aside from the drama and the setting there's nothing special about it. Maybe it's a personal thing, but I didn't find it appealing. If you want to watch a film on the favelas, drug lords and all that so you can get the wrong idea of what my subcontinent is like, I'd suggest and recommend Cidade de Deus (City of God). It's a really good film on its own, too. Sorry for the short review, but I wasn't that interested in the film, really.

   

    Trust me, Cidade de Deus is ten times better.

#67 - Léon: The Professional (1994)

You know those films that are very good, but at the same time, there isn't anything special about it? Léon: The Professional is one of those. It doesn't stand out, following the "lonely, preferrably old guy reluctantly meets young character that grows into him" tried and true formula. It adds a twist to it with interesting ideas and original characters, and on itself it is a great film. It just doesn't have the same impact as, say, Gran Torino.

Jean Reno stars as Léon, a solitary hitman (his best friend, as he puts it, is his houseplant). He lives next to Mathilda (a young Natalie Portman), a 12 year old girl abused by her dysfunctional family. And by dysfunctional, I mean that to the point that her father hides coke in their apartment. And that gets Mathilda's family killed by a corrupt Drug Enforcement Administration agent, Norman Stansfield (Gary Oldman). Léon reluctantly saves Mathilda, hides her from Stansfield. And eventually takes her under his wing and teaches her to become a "cleaner", to exact revenge on Stansfield.

 

Don't worry, the film is good enough to make a 12-year-old hitman believable.

The chemistry between Léon and Mathilda is phenomenal. I know it's the usual reluctant couple that eventually warms up to each other, and Léon is the usual lonely, grumpy (well, not so much) guy and Mathilda is the usual annoying girl that later on becomes a more mature person, but it still works. It may get a tad creepy when Mathilda starts having a crush on Léon. Asking him to kiss her and such. But other than that, the relationship between the two is more of a father-daughter thing, and it's well executed.

The "villian", Stansfield, totally steals the show, though. And I say "villian", because the Gary Oldman's performance is really exaggerated. Don't get me wrong, it doesn't kill the more serious tone of the rest of the film,  but it adds a little campiness and humor to the film while still being menacing. He comes with all the clichés: comparing his murders to art, yelling at his "henchmen": he's batshit crazy. That could be a turndown to some people but hey, I personally enjoyed it. And the way he goes down, oh man.

 

You'd freak out too if Gary Oldman started sniffing you.

That being said, Léon: The Professional isn't a film that stands out a lot. It is a very good movie and I enjoyed it a lot, but there isn't anything remarkably special about it. Despite the fact that it has great characters and actors to go with them, we've seen the same story a lot of times already. Er, maybe there weren't hitmen in the formula before, but at its core it's the same movie. There are a lot of better films out there but go ahead and give it a watch if you want, you won't be dissapointed.

#66 - God Bless America (2011)

Almost two weeks ago I watched Idiocracy, and, well, as a sattire on American's cult of mediocirty, it turned out to be just as stupid as what it was trying to parodize. It had a really good premise but the execution was terrible. God Bless America, on the other hand, does everything Idiocracy should have done: it has the perfect balance between over the top humorous scenes and slower-paced, more insightful scenes, while still keeping a subtle humorous tone.

The main character in the movie is Frank, a man who couldn't possibly be more frustrated with his life. Divorced, his daugher hates him, recently fired, has a brain tumor, and thinks the society he lives in is shit. About to commit suicide, he sees a reality show on tv where, spoofing Sweet 16, the spoiled birthday girl berates her parents for not getting the car she asked. He decides to kill her first, and then kill himself. A classmate of hers, Roxy, sees what happens and encourages Frank to take down everyone who commits acts of similar stupidity or cruelty. As in, clean up the rubbish in American society.

With a premise like that, you can rest assured that the film has plenty of incredibly over the top, violent scenes, mostly involving the murder of bigot religious groups, a hateful neo-conservative tv commentator, or even minor annoyances, like loud teenagers in a cinema or an asshole that double parks. And those are really hilarious, just for the absurdity of the situation. You could say the film can get kind of sick or twisted (this is, after all, a teenage girl encouraging a middle aged man to kill people), but hey, isn't that what dark comedy is about?

 

It does get a little out hand, when she wants him to love her or something. At least Frank refuses.

Like I said, the film is not just big, loud and dumb sequences. There are plenty of conversations, particularly between Frank and the idiots he is trying to correct. The topics they go through are fantastic: how we live in a generation that celebrates mediocrity and rewards stupidity, and hateful, untrue messages make more money than honesty. How television has become a freak show, a distraction, and the effects it has on everyday life.

The film starts out with plenty of those insightful converations (in particular one in his office), only to wear out a bit later on. It still spouts out some smart phrases every now and then, and there's always more subtle criticism. In one moment, Frank's company fires him after he gives a coworker flowers, reflecting the paranoia America has against sexual harrassment; Frank's daughter bitches about wanting an iPhone instead of the Blackberry she got, mimicking the Sweet 16 spoof; and whenever someone turns on the tv every show is exploiting the American Idol spoof' where a man is ridiculed for his perfomance only to later on pretend to commit suicide just so the media can keep milking off the story.

 

This is the "oh no you didn't say that!" generation, where a shocking comment has more weight than the truth.

That was the point where I was convinced the movie is fucking genius. You see, television in my country works the same way: the biggest show in the air introduces a story, as in, one of the celebrities there "fights" another, and at least 5 shows the next day discuss the fight and interview said celebrity. Back at the big show, the fight could go on or end, only to introduce another one in the latter case. It's all obviously staged and formulaic, but everyone still buys it and watches it! I have yet to see a film that so successfully depicts my indignation at such a stupid society.

God Bless America is a really good film. It doens't have great characters or performances, or plot for that matter, but the social criticism behind it is plentiful, spot-on, and fucking brilliant. Don't let the over the top nature of the movie suggest you otherwise. Plus, I had a couple of laughs. That certainly helps.

#65 - Gone With the Wind (1939)

Fucking finally. You could say the single reason I've been postponing this film is its astonishing length: almost four freaking hours. I can gladly assure you it paid off, though, because Gone With the Wind is definitely one of the best films I have ever seen.

Gone With the Wind is a romantic film with a war epic setting: the American Civil War, (mid 19th century for those not on the know). The main character, played by Vivien Leigh, is Scarlett O'Hara, a spoiled and selfish young lady who has every male character wrapped around her finger. In other words, a complete bitch. And she has a crush on the only man that doesn't want her (surprise), Ashley Wilkes (Leslie Howard). But, oh, surprise again, he doesn't love her back, and instead loves her sister. Clark Gable's character, Rhett Butler, closes up the love triangle as an incredbly charming gentleman who's totally into Scarlett. She's kind of into him, too, so she's torn between the two.

  

Come on, you know the outcome.

As the film goes on, so does the Civil War, and Scarlett's wealthy plantation is burned down and destroyed, her husband dies in the war, and Rhett goes fight the Yankees. Scarlett, now determined to restore her estate to its former glory, works her ass off and marries a wealthy man, only to control his fortune... I won't keep spoiling the movie, but it's hard to summarize a 4-hour long film. I wouldn't have it any other way, though, since a lot happens in the film.

In the end, it all builds up on Scarlett's character development. Like I said, she is a manipulative bitch, but I still found the character very interesting: despite how much she goes through, how hard her life gets, how many men she ends up with, how many people she has to help... she always cares only for herself. And it works, surprisingly: she would be an incredibly annoying and despicable character if it weren't for her free-spirited nature and her craving for independance. During an era where women were starting to become more independent (the late 30's, not the Civil War!),Vivien Leigh's performance coudln't have been more appealing. And it still is today.

  

It's ok to embrace with your sluttiness every once in a while. Getting laid with Clark Gable is a great excuse.

And Clark Gable is just perfect on his role. Not only is Rhett incredibly charming and sophisticated, he still has a certain air of witty, sarcastic arrogance. It's impossible not to like him, and steals every scene. The rest of the cast is really good as well. Some characters that stand out are the aforementioned Ashley, Scarlett's sister Melanie and Mammy, the black maid (first black person to win an Oscar, for fuck's sake!).

I always feel like I have to write a "but" paragraph, since I like to clearly point out the pros and cons of every film I watch, but I can't really think of any reasons not to like the film. Aside from the fact that it goes on for too long. And other nitpicks like the female character's ocassionally squeaky voices or the incredibly inaccurate depiction of slavery. I'm no expert in the matter, but come on, wasn't the South in a fucking war to keep abusing them at the time? Why was every character so nice to them?

Don't let that fool you: Gone With the Wind is among the top 5 best films I came across in this list despite its incredibly minor flaws. The character performances and the chemistry between them is perfect, along with the story and dialogue. A definite must-watch classic.

#64 - The Butterfly Effect (2004)

You know, just as I finished watching this film and googled it to check up on stuff like the date and actors, I found out the reviews for this film were pretty harsh. And I don't understand why. Ok, I admit it has some hiccups here and there but what movie doesn't? It is certainly beyond decent; pretty damn good if I say so myself. It isn't certainly the best film on the eponymous subject, since it just exploits it as a plot device rather than exploring, but it certailny isn't the worse either.

Probably every movie that deals with the subject of time travel EVER has featured the so called "Butterfly Effect", based on Chaos theory. In case you're not familiar with it (rewatch Jurassic Park right now), it states that small unpredicted events or changes in variables will eventually affect the results drastically. The film is entirely based around it: Ashton Kutcher plays Evan, a kid that suffers from a condition in which he blacks out and then wakes up with no memory of what just happened. As he grows up, Evan goes through several traumatic incidents, in particular:

- At age 7, He and his childhood sweetheart, Kayleigh, are forced into child porn by her father.

- At age 13, Kayleigh's sadistic brother, Tommy, forces Evan, Kayleigh and Lenny (a friend of Evan's), to blow up a neighbour's mailbox, accidentally killing a woman and her baby.

- Tommy kills Evan's dog after he starts dating his sister, after threatening Lenny not to do anything about it.

 

Props to Jesse James as Tommy, that was disturbingly believable.

Now in college, Evan discovers he can travel back in time to whenever he blacked out and change the events, altering his life. For instance, he goes back to the child porn bit and bullies Kayleigh's father into leaving her alone and disciplining Tommy, and he ends up dating her and becoming a frat boy. But everything has consequences, and Tommy ends up being abused by his father instead, leaving him psychotic and tries to kill Evan.

Thus, Evan changes the timeline again, this time asking Lenny to cut the rope holding his dog to make up for his guilt after killing the woman and the baby. He instead kills Tommy and is sent to a psychiatric institution, and Kayliegh becomes a whore... somehow. Every time he tries to change the past, everything still somehow messes up. The intricate timelines and overall plot are really clever and imaginative.

 

In another timeline Evan jumps into the mailbox... Yikes.

But the execution of these timelines isn't just as good. Some things, like the aforementioned whore thingy, doesn't really make a lot of sense. Plus, the consequences of Evan's time-travelling shenanigans are somewhat limited: they may severely change one character's life (Lenny goes from Kayliegh's boyfriend to a mental patient) but not the lives of the other characters. And they only seem to affect the four main characters (aside from Evan's mother in one timeline).

Aside those minor inconsistencies, the film has other problems. Ashton Kutcher's performance is pretty mediocre, and it is a shame because the rest of the acting is really good, particularly given all the different personalities the characters end up with. I have to give him credit for not, say, hyperventilating through the whole flick or going "oh, this can't be real" every five minutes, but I would have preferred other actor.

 

Derp! Jake Gyllenhaal is out, this film is too similar to Donnie Darko already.

In the end, I really, really liked this film, despite all its mistakes. Say what you want about being flung back and forward all the time with all the flashbacks, but I enjoyed it. If the mistakes in the plot were fixed and we didn't have the actor that ruined Two and a Half Men as the leading role (it wasn't that good of a show to begin with anyway), it would have been a fantastic film. Nonetheless, I highly recommend watching it.

#63 - From Dusk Till Dawn (1996)

One thing I have mentioned more than once in this blog is how much I like Quentin Tarantino's personal style. With the exception of Kill Bill vol. 2 I loved every one of his films, hell, Pupl Fiction is one of my favorite movies of all time. But even when his films are intentionally violent in excess, there is always some cleverness or wit behind them. Now, Robert Rodriguez's films, that's is an entirely different story. They are pointlessly stupid and intentionally violent, cliche'd and cheesy. And I love that.

From Dusk Till Dawn starts out with two brothers (George Clooney and Quentin Tarantino) wanted by the FBI. They kidnap a priest and his family (Harvey Keitel) to take their RV to Mexico and escape the police. A contact of them told them to meet up at dawn in a desolate stripper club. So far it sounds like a normal heist film, right? Oh yeah, turns out everyone in the strip club are vampires.

 

Wait, what?

Ok. That was one of the most weird transitions I have ever witnessed. Up until the film's tone was a little over the top, but it didn't have any fucking vampires. But is that really a bad thing? As long as they don't sparkle, vampires make any good action/crime film better. Particularly if they are brought to the screen with so intentionally terrible special effects. This isn't even B-movie quality, but you won't care.

So if it has such an incredibly stupid premise and the execution is so intentionally terrible in everything, why do I like it so much? Well, that sheer stupidity is what makes the film shine. Rodriguez is one of the best directors ever when it comes to making very good exploitation B-movies: it takes itself seriously enough to not become a full-on parody, but it still is goofy enough to remind you it's made like that intentionally.

I can't really recommend From Dusk Till Dawn in general, since it's such a stupid mess of a movie; but if you did like films like Machete or Grindhouse, then by all means watch this film, because you will like it just as much. If the absurdity of the premise instantly turns you down, do not watch it.

 

Dat codpiece.

#62 - The Truman Show (1998)

Well... I can't honestly say I'm dissapointed. After all, my expectations were incredibly low when I sat down to watch Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind last week. Eternal Sunshine was a fantastic film and I enjoyed every minute of it, and the fact that Jim Carrey's personal acting style (which I can barely stand) was extremely downplayed helped a lot. I'm not precisely saying I didn't like the Truman Show; I liked it, as a matter of fact, but Carrey's mannerisms and acting style got in the way.

Call me nitpicky, but it just pisses me off. You want to make a complete fool of yourself, Carrey? Then make another one of those mongoloid comedies you do all the time. This is a pretty dramatic film, so, really, is it so hard to take at least one fucking role seriously? Carrey plays Truman Burbank, a man unaware of the fact that he lives in a giant dome and his entire life is one big reality show. And after a series of weird events he realizes there is something wrong and eventually discovers the truth.

The film doesn't necessarily try to be funny, so why cast Carrey in the first place? There are plenty of scenes in which he is supposed to be serious or shocked; and instead laughs it out hysterically (as if he just had a mental breakdown or something). I liked the character and the concept, but the performance didn't go well with the rest of the movie.

  

"Hey look I smile like a fucking retard all the time I'm so hilarious" No, you are not.

It's a shame, because I had next to no problems with the rest of the film. The idea of a massive reality show based on just one person is a great sattire of reality television. Is the "real life" of a person really worth watching? How did they get so many people interested in watching someone, say, go to work, or take a shit? How is it exciting after 30 years? I personally can't stand reality shows and that is the main reason of why The Truman Show appeals so much to me. The entire world is more invested in someone else's life rather than their own - that is the true message behind the film. And it's great.

I also really liked the little clues that eventually hint Truman into figuring out his life is a TV show. Particularly because they also satirize how reality shows are supposed to be as realistic as possible but only come out as commercial garbage. Truman's wife is always discussing a new product out fo the blue like she was advertising it, the way everything is a routine to the point that every passerby (aka extras) is actually walking in looped cycles around every block...

  

Forced product placement at its finest. I suddenly feel a massive urge to buy kitchen appliances.

The Truman show is not a bad film by any means, and I quite enjoyed it. I just wish another actor was cast. Tom Hanks? Anyway, if you're a mindless fan of Carrey (no offense, it just grinds my gears a lot) you will enjoy it and laugh like a moron whenever he opens his big stupid mouth (sorry again, I can't help it). If you are not, Jim's lovely mannerisms don't really get much in the way, to be honest, so it's still a very enjoyable movie.

#61 - There's Something about Mary (1998)

Remember that streak of romantic comedies in the early 2000's, with gross-out humor and plenty of awkward o embarrassing situations? I really like that kind of films, so the fact that I've never seen the film that started that trend is a little surprising. There's Something About Mary is incredibly enjoyable so if you like films like Meet the Parents, you should give it a watch.

Surprise, Ben Stiller plays Ted, and awkward, shy guy who runs into weird situations where minor misunderstandings lead to major catastrophes. Where have I seen this before...? Anyway, Ted has a small fixation on Mary (Cameron Diaz), whom he was about to take to prom before one of those wacky confusions led to his dick getting stuck in his zipper. Curious about her whereabouts, a friend of his recommends a private investigator to check on her. Turns out he falls in love with her, tells Ted Mary got fat and ugly and tries to seduce her by stalking her and prentending they like the same things. Ted finds out and goes to Florida to get Mary back.

      

Deep down the premise is nothing new, but some ideas are pretty original.

The film carries over all the clichés of a romantic comedy though. Ted is your usual shy and awkward underdog, and Mary is the perfect, flawless woman that falls in love with him. It kind of pisses me off that so many movies do this. "Hey loners, if you don't have any luck with women, don't worry, just be the sweet and sincere person you are and Cameron Diaz will totally want to fuck you." I could also include all the "it's all just a huge misunderstanding" or "everything gets messed up" scenes, but you could say that the movie was one of the first films to make that style popular. And they work so well you don't really care.

The biggest strength of the film are those parts, really. There might be only five or six of them, but they are long enough to make up for it. Other comedy films, like the Naked Gun series, for instance, have a couple of these tiny disasters and it works well but this film takes it to the extreme. It's not a just bunch of hiccups the characters move on once they are done, no, one mistake leads to another, ussually as the characters try to fix it, and things keep getting worse for five minutes. Like I said, it totally loses shock value after seeing films like Meet the Parents or Along Came Polly, but they are still very entertaining. The opening scene is by far my favorite, where everything that could go wrong, goes wrong. Then there's the visually simple but still incredibly funny interrogation part.

      

And this.

There's Something About Mary was very influential to the early 2000's comedies, so if you're into those films, you will have a good time with this film. It is a very funny movie, with a basic plot and characters that leave space for gag after gag. Totally worth two hours of your life.

#60 - A Streetcar Named Desire (1951)

Here's another classic. I know I've been hinting Gone with the Wind a dozen times already, but it's three and a half hours long and I'm a lazy shit. Nevertheless, I am more than satisfied with this one. A Streetcar Named Desire is an extremely influential film that holds up to this day as a great film to watch.

Vivien Leigh stars as Blanche Dubois, a rich lady that has to move into her sister Stella's apartment since the family estate has apparently been "lost", much to the intrigue of her sister. Stella lives in a blue collar neighbourhood in New Orleands with her abusive husband, Stanley (Marlon Brando). Blanche meets one of Stanley's friends, Mitch, who slowly starts to figure out her past. And tension keeps growing between Blanche and Stanley, as her presence disrupts his life with Stella.

  

Yay for domestic violence.

The film has plenty of interesting subplots, all of them handled perfectly. Er, ok, maybe the credit should go to the original writer, Tennessee Williams, but the adapted screenplay and perfect cast deserve just as much praise. Stella and Stanley's odd relationship, for instance, is incredibly interesting, with Stella giving up her social status and marrying an abusive husband just for the sex, and apparently it seems to work until Blanche comes in and ruins that balance. Blanche's true past, the way she tries to hide it, and how it is revealed; Stanley's wilderness and how he reacts to Blanche's presence and pretentiousness... it is all really well handled.

And of course none of it would be half as good if it weren't for the cast. Vivien Liegh's performance is perfect, always sounding convincing no matter how melodramatic the situation gets. Stella, played by Kim Hunter, is a surprisingly interesting character, torn between her sister and her upbringing, and her husband and her new lifestyle. But Marlon Brando, of course, steals the show as Stanley. His performance, in fact, is a freaking milestone in filmmaking history. Before this film, there were rude or cynical characters, of course, but they still showed some signs of politeness or charm. Stanley is raw, unkempt, even animalistic.

  

While many moments stand out, the drunk Stanley screaming for Stella is the most memorable.

So, if you think about it, that is the film's biggest achievement.  Everything I mentioned, Stella and Stanley's relationship, Blanche's promiscuous character, the animalistic attraction Stella feels for Stanley and, well, Stanley himself; all lead towards one common theme: lust. This is one of the first films to have the balls to adress the then-controversial topic so directly. Not to mention all the domestic violence.

A Streetcar Named Desire is an extremely influential and transgressive movie, and it's a crime to overlook it. I can't pinpoint anything it does wrong: the characters and performances are fantastic, the themes and the plot are only heightened by the audacity of the filmmakers. This 60 year old film has aged wonderfully and is still very worth watching.

#59 - The Squid and the Whale (2005)

The sole reason I watched this film was to just get it over with. A friend of mine recommended it and for a while he kept asking me if I had seen it already. "Maybe later." He eventually forgot it and so did I. Until today, when I decided to give it a shot. The film is nothing special, really, but I personally enjoyed it.

One of the first films I ticked off the list was Kramer vs. Kramer (actually it was the 12th... whatever), a movie about a recently divorced couple and how they handle their situation and the child support and all that.   The premise in the Squid and the Whale is similar: both parents get a divorce, but instead of fighting over the custody of the kids, the kids take sides by themselves, leading to a lot of conflictive situations. While the overall tone of Kramer vs. Kramer was lighthearted and optimistic, the Squid and the Whale takes a more realistic, bitter approach. It may get out of hand, or get a little too sex heavy, but it's a pretty realistic depiction of a divorce and the effect it has on the family.

    

Some parts are pretty exaggerated, though. The young sibling getting drunk and passing out comes to mind.

There movie as a very distinct indie flavor, particularly the characters. Except for the younger brother, every member of the family has this hipster-like artistic taste. The father (Jeff Daniels) is a novelist whose career has declined recently; he is extremely arrogant, you know, the kind of guy that thinks he is intellectually superior than the rest but comes out as an asshole. The mother is also an author whose recently published work is more successful than that of her husband, which just adds up to the tension. Oh, and she has also been cheating on him. More than once.

Jesse Eisenberg plays the 16 year old Walt, who sides up with the father, sharing his taste for, uh, hipstery vintage stuff, and plays the guitar quite well. His brother Frank (Owen Kline) sides up with the mother and starts doing stuff kids at that age usually do when facing a divorce. Jacking off at school and drinking beer. Yeah, it was quite disturbing. Walt is the protagonist here and the most developed and interesting character, but the overall amount of attention on every member of the family is very well balanced. And there's plenty of other supporting characters, too. Summing up, it has plenty to offer as a character-driven film.

    

Anna Paquin stands out as the father's (slutty) girlfriend, among others.

Like I said, the Squid and the Whale is not a film that particularly stands out to me. It has nice characters and the theme of divorce and family conflicts is well played. It's a good film and I enjoyed it, but it's pretty forgettable.

#58 - A Beautiful Mind (2001)

A running gag in my high school class involved us suggesting our Math teacher to watch a film in class to get two hours of sleepy time. She was not that stupid and never fell for it (she was quite a good teacher too), but she kept saying "If we ever watch something, A Beautiful Mind would be a good choice". Because, really, how many non-educational films can you come up with that could relate to Math? Sadly, high school was over and we never got to see it. So I put it on the list. And let me be totally honest with you: this film is very overrated. It is a very good film, but I don't think it deserves all the praise it got.

A Beautiful Mind is a biopic on John Nash, a Nobel Prize winning mathematician played by Russell Crowe. Nash is brilliant and smart beyond belief, getting a Princeton University scholarship, coming up with a governing dynamics principle by himself,  even being hired by the US department of defense to crack encrypted Soviet messages. He also has a good personal life, having plenty of friends and ending up marrying a student of his (Jennifer Conelly). But, there is a catch. Nash is an obsessive, paranoid schizofreniac. And everything goes downhill once he is diagnosed.

 

Scribbling notes on walls: clear sign of insanity.

Despite that kind of premise, A Beautiful Mind doesn't fall into your typical "rise and fall" kind of story. Nash goes through some crappy moments but he is always trying to pull himself together throughout the film. That's one of the things I felt the movie did best: it conveyed that idea of unstability very well. It also did a good job at keeping us guessing what was real and what wasn't. Er... I guess this is the point where I stop giving away the film.

I was surprised to see Russell Crowe pull off the role of John Nash so well. After enduring my brother's massive fanatism over Gladiator (one particular week he played it on the VCR more than once a day), I can't shake the role off of him. The character itself is very interesting too; as far as I know it doesn't stick to the actual John Nash very well, but it still works. Jennifer Connelly is also really good as John's wife, and how much she managed to do with such a basic role. I also liked Paul Bettany and Ed Harris's performances, as Nash's supportive roommate and his boss, respectively.

But, if I keep saying the film is so good, why do I say it is overrated? Well, it feels like Oscar bait. No kidding, I kept imagining the trailer describing the film as "the inspiring story of a brilliant but flawed man, trying to fulfill his dreams while facing self-inflicted adversity". It sounds like an intentionally melodramatic and romantic film we have seen a billion times. And it made it, 4 Academy Awards. Including best supporting actress for Jennifer Connelly. Wait, what? Connelly is a really good actress and delivers a solid performance here, but the role itself is incredibly uninteresting.

 

This is as archetypal as the victimized but supportive housewife cliché can get. It doesn't deserve an Oscar.

Don't get me wrong: it felt like the intentionally melodramatic, formulaic and inspirational stuff that keeps wetting every film reviewer's pants, but nonetheless it is a very good film.

#57 - Carrie (1976)

Why, oh why don't we get horror flicks like this any more? Carrie is a fucking masterpiece. Ok, I will admit it has some minor issues but in general, it does everything right. I can't believe I hadn't seen it yet, given how much I like the film adaptations of Stephen King's books. The Shining and Misery are some of my favorite films and while It may be goofy or laughable right now it did scare the shit out of me as a kid. My expectations were high, and the film managed to meet them with flying colors.

Carrie, played by Sissy Spacek, is a shy girl with no friends. When she gets her first period she freaks out (since her abusive religious fanatic mother tries to keep "the sin of blood" from her). Screaming with blood all over her hands with no idea of what's going on, her classmates start mocking her until the gym teacher intervenes and put them all in detention. While some of the girls feel sorry, one even asking her boyfriend to take her to prom, one of them is extremely pissed at her and tries to get back by humiliating her at prom night. Oh, and did I mention Carrie somehow has telekinesis when she becomes stressed? It's very hard not to give away the ending so I won't describe the story any further: what I can tell you is I loved it. It is a very original premise, after all.

It's the freaking seventies. You should know what that is.

The thing this film does best is making the audience care for the characters. Trust me, you can't not feel sorry for Carrie by the time the film is done. Aside from being shy and awkward, I don't see why would anyone hurt a girl like this physically or mentally, and Sissy Spacek's performance only makes her seem more vulnerable and empathic. I found the beginning of the prom scene particularly heartwrenching: Carrie was finally being accepted, having the time of her life and pretty much being happy for the first time on her life, all while being blissfully ignorant of what was going on behind the curtain (literally).

And just like we care a lot for the protagonist, you will hate the antagonists just as much. Carrie's mother embodies everything wrong with religious fanatism, blaming all her problems on "sin", and believes strict discipline (aka constant abuse) will keep her daughter away from it. And Chris, the popular asshat that organizes the whole "prank" against Carrie, gives the word bitch a new definition.

"Look, her vagina is bleeding! Let's throw stuff at her!" (Whoops, boobies!)

But that's the biggest problem I have with Carrie. I mean, really? A horrified girl gets her first period and the immediate reaction from her classmates is laughing at her and showering her with tampons? And scheming a mastermind plan to humiliate her at prom just because she got them into detention for being heartless bitches? Come on. I know I just said it's impossible not to feel sorry for Carrie but the situation is way too surreal. Aside from that and the fact that every single character in this film is a fucking stereotype, I have no other complains.

While the situation may be a little too twisted or surreal, it rarely got in the way of the great story and characters. The "horror" part only kicks in at the end, and it never gets particularly scary, just unnerving or disturbing, but that's even better in my book. I prefer a good, non-scary story than a scary one where the horror elements get in the way of the plot. In fact, I think this is one of my favorite films in this list.

#56 - Chinatown (1974)

Whenever a film tackles a time period set a couple of decades before it, they tend to critique that era qith the current mindset. A couple of days ago I saw The Help, and while it was a great film, I foud Emma Stone's character a little out of place there; she feels like a current day person with a current day mindset that somehow travelled back in time to the 60's and unhappy with the status quo tries to change it. Chinatown, on the other hand, is a 70's film set in the 40's, and it manages to capture the feel of that era perfectly, with little to no input on the then-current mindset. And that is no easy feat.

While Chinatown doesn't have a particularly complex narrative structure, the plot can get a little bit hard to follow. Jack Nicholson plays Jake Gittes, a private investigator who gets a request from Evelyn Mulwray to check on her husband, who has been cheating on her. Turns out this Evelyn was a faker trying to destroy Mr. Mulwray's reputation, who by the way gets murdered and Gittes has to crack the mystery behind it. While the mystery is, like I said, a little too convoluted and I got mixed up more than once, I have to praise it for how well delivered it is.

 

Make sure you're not as sleep-deprived as I was when watching it.

Fuck you, college, waking me up ant 5:30 AM on a Saturday for a two hour class I hate.

The murder case involves Gittes unearthing a scheme to drain water from a plantation, only to place a reservoir nearby for lots of munnies; confilcts over family heritage and even incestual relationships. The way every clue is presented and everything eventually clicks together is fantastic. Chinatown's setting and tone are also spot-on: it genuinely feels like it's the 40's. The characters, the Noir theme, and particulalry the clothing all add up to a great tone without falling into any clichés. It never gets campy or overly romantic.

This idea carries over to the characters: the protagonist is, in Noir fashion, cynical and sarcastic most of the time, but he doesn't fall into the depressive, alcoholic and broke kind of guy we usually see starring these films: he's smart, well-spoken and moderately successful. And come on, it's Jack freaking Nicholson, he delivers the part perfectly. Faye Dunaway's character is also interesting, being needy and fragile at times but being unreliable and suspicious at the same time. The rest of the cast doesn't really stand out that much, but what the hell. With protagonists like this you don't care.

 

He can wear that without looking ridiculous, for fuck's sake. That's quite an accomplishment.

I admit, while I'm not particularly familiar with the Noir genre, this is hands down the film that represents the genre the best: taking it seriously and getting every element right (if you want pseudo-parody the best I can suggest is Grim Fandango). So if neo-noir is what you want, I can't recommend a better film than this one.

#55 - Idiocracy (2006)

Dissapointment. That's what Idiocracy is. As soon as I read the premise I was hooked and really wanted to watch this film. But right after the promising first twenty minutes of the film, it all goes downhill. Maybe if the film was done by someone other than Mike Judge it would have been a masterpiece. I do admit it's pretty funny at times but it's so exaggerated that the stink of missed potential ruined the film for me.

And it's a shame because the idea behind the film, like I said, is perfect. Ever heard of the demographic-economic paradox? Basically, intelligent, wealthy people have less offspring than poor, uneducated people. It's an issue that really troubles me and can be summed up with the film's spot on quote: "Evolution does not necessarily reward intelligence. With no natural predators to thin the herd, it began to simply reward those who reproduced the most, and left the intelligent to become an endangered species."

In this film. an average, everyday man (Luke Wilson) is frozen by the US Army along a hooker (Maya Rudolph) as part of an experiment, but the man in charge is fired and both are forgotten until they wake five hundred years in a dystopian future... where stupid people walk the earth and Terry Crews is the president of the United States. Sounds like a funny but insightful film, right? Unluckily, it falls short on both aspects. For comedic purposes (this is a Mike Judge film, after all), everyone is not just dumb: they are plain retarded. I would have preferred the film to be set, for instance, 150 years into the future instead of the whopping 500 they went with, and replacing the retards with average people that take all the shitty traits of western culture to the extreme. That way it could still be a very funny film while being a little bit more grounded in reality so the social commentary behind it is better.

 

But turns out the film can get as stupid as what it's trying to satirize.

Dissapointing as it is, it is still a decent film. While all the futuretards are so stupid they're not even funny, Luke Wilson is perfectly cast, Maya Rudolph is surprisingly entertaining and Terry Crews... pro-wrestler president. Enough said. I know I complained a lot about this alternate future being stupid, but to be honest, the one thing that bothered me was its inhabitants. Everything else about this future is great. Come on, sports drinks replacing water? Starbucks offering handjobs? Fox News being stupid? Oh, sorry, we already have the latter.

And I admit the film is pretty damn funny. Not much from the characters or the dialogue, but the sheer stupidity of the situations they run into. The punishment for political prisoners being a demolition derby; water being reserved for the toilet and everyone laughing when Luke Wilson's character asks for a sip; the health care system; all hilarious, memorable scenes.

   

"But then an even greater force emerged, the U.N. And the UN un-nazied the world- forever."

It is an entertaining film, but honestly, I can't stand how mind numbingly stupid it can get. There's funny stupid, and there's annoying stupid. This movie offers a lot of the latter. Plus, I love the fact that the film tackles dysgenic stupidity and the demographic-economic paradox, but the execution is terrible. I can't say I can recommend it unless you're in for the laughs.

#54 - Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (2005)

Got to say, this film was a big, pleasant surprise. I had completely dismissed it for one fact: Jim Carrey. God. I can't stand Jim Carrey. The way he overacts everything, making retard faces and expressions hoping people will find him funny. It's okay if the film in question is a kid-friendly comedy (I did like The Mask as a kid), but everything else... I had seen The Number 23 to see if he could pull of a more serious role and trust me, that didn't help at all. But turns out he managed to keep his shitty personal style under control here (for most of it). And I loved this film as a result.

Well, kind of. I didn't like it for Carrey's performance in particular, but everything else is excellent. The premise, in particular: Jim Carrey plays Joel, a shy, withdrawn person that runs into the charming and upbeat Clementine (Kate Winslet) in a train, and hit it off. But what they don't know is that they had actually been dating but grew sick of each other and recently erased the respective memories of each other through Lacuna Inc, a, er, memory erasing firm? The film then goes back to Joel as he tries to erase all his memories of Clementine, but ends up wanting to keep them and tries to save the, er, mental projection of her from erasure. I know it sounds crazy and disjointed, but trust me when I say it plays out wonderfully.

    

No plot holes other than a pseudo-futuristic company using fucking casettes.

But everything happening in between was perfectly executed. While Joel is trying to keep Clementine's memories, the real life Clementine is dating Patrick (Frodo, I mean, Elijah Wood), an employee of Lacuna that falls in love with her as he erases her memories and tries to seduce her acting like Joel. But Clementine seems to reject him, possibly due to the fact that she faintly remembers Joel. Or because of Patrick's hairy hobbit feet or short height, I don't know.

    

Oh, oh, and then he has to decide between Clementine or Sam! Who will he choose? (I'll stop now.)

And then there's a subplot involving another Lacuna employee (Kirsten Dunst) having a crush on her boss. Not as interesting but still pretty good. Aside from the perfect premise, I think pretty much every performance is spot on. Carrey, like I said, may not be the best choice but aside from some goofy moments he doesn't go apeshit and start doing "funny faces", and that's more than enough for me. Kate Winslet's character is excellent and appealing, the idea behind Elijah Wood's character is just genius, and the rest of the supporting cast, like Kirsten Dunst, Mark Ruffalo and Tom Wilkinson, are pretty entertaining as well.

The film isn't perfect: like I just said, there are a couple of scenes that feel really off. This one in particular: Joel tries to hide Clementine in his childhood memories so she won't be erased. The result: Jim Carrey acting, talking and dressing like a four year old. This is exactly what I was concerned about and it totally breaks the tone of the film, but luckily the rest of it wasn't like this at all and it moves on pretty quickly.

    

My exact words: "GOD NO."

You're not off the hook just yet, Jim. I may watch the Truman Show later on to see if I can get rid of my negative bias, but for now, Eternal Sunshine will do. It is an excellent film with some flaws here and there, but with such a great premise and characters you don't care. Highly recommended, even if you're not into romantic films.

#53 - Commando (1985)

Ok, when I start picking up stuff like an extremely cheesy 80's action movie with everyone's favorite politician, you know I'm running out of films in my list. At the same time it's dissapointing that I still have stuff like Gone with the Wind and other timeless, endlessly praised classics and I'm watching this, but what the hell, I had a blast watching it.

I guess the reason why I'm watching Commando is the fact that I was browsing for films and it popped up as one of Schwarzenegger's best films, along stuff like Terminator 2. But don't blame me, I'm a guy after all, and I love stupid action flicks. So, guess what the film is about? If you thought Arnold Schwarzenegger playing an ex-military something that has to rescue his daughter from some generic bad guys while killing every single one of them with cheesy one-liners, you guessed right! It's terrible and half of it doesn't make any freaking sense, but it's still awesome.

    

"How can he survive falling off a plane into a river? And how can't all those soldiers take one single guy-"

Just shut the fuck up and enjoy.

At this point I'm supposed to speak about the characters, but they are so generic and underdeve- why am I even doing this? Generic ex-militar commando hero man thingy fights generic apeshit revengeful bad guy, kills the generic henchman and gets the generic reluctant love interest along the way. Just like the characters, the acting is pretty much terrible. The over the top, funny kind of terrible. The film's from that time where Arnold hadn't still mastered the art of proper pronounciation so everything he says is incredibly stiff, but that just makes it funnier.

So you could say the saving grace of Commando are the action scenes. Well, the film is just a bunch of action scenes with crappy acting and story thrown in, but the action parts are worth it. While most of the film is action packed with some slow scenes in between, the initial scene where they kidnap the daughter, the part where Arnie breaks into the villa, and theduel with the bad guy take the cake. And the one-liners? A fucking cheesefest, but they are by far the best moments in the film. "Don't disturb my friend, he's dead tired." "You gotta co-operate, right?" "WRONG!"

    

Personal favorite:  "Let off some steam, Bennett."

Commando is nothing memorable, really. It's loud, it's stupid, but as a distraction it was pretty fun. I didn't want to sit through a two and a half hour long drama-heavy flick on the first day of my college semester. I would never recommend a film like this after all the classics I've had the pleasure to watch, there's nothing special about it... but you know, if you want something stupid to chill and have a laugh watching, knock yourself out.

#52 - The 25th Hour (2002)

I loved The 25th Hour. I mean it. I loved its characters, the premise, the conclusion... but when it came to writing a couple of paragraphs on it, I realized the film has little to no plot progression, or a cohesive theme to wrap up the story and deliver a clear message. But you know what? It is ok. That may be the message itself: it goes nowhere. And with a premise like this, it's a completely understandable idea.

The film narrates the last day in Monty Brogan's life before he goes to jail on a seven year sentence for drug dealing, and how he says goodbye to his friends and family. That's it, and surprisingly, it works. The film is going to end up with Monty going to jail and we all know it. Aside from tying up all loose ends, like saying goodbye to his childhood friends, finding out who gave him away to the police, finding someone to take care of his dog, there is no plot progression. And it works; you truly feel like it's over for Monty.

 

Everything: characters, scenes, performances; set a perfect melancholic tone.

That's one of the things I liked the most about the film, too. The slow pacing of the film helps not only develop the characters better but it conveys this idea that Monty is not in a hurry to go to jail and wants to take his time. The way the filmmaking choices and not the dialogue itself help us empathize with the titular character is genius.

Because, really, there's something wrong with Monty. From the beginning I couldn't hepl but wonder how could Edward Norton's character possibly be selling drugs. He is introduced rescuing a beat up dog in the middle of the street, he's well-spoken: he seems like a nice guy that made all the wrong choices. But instead of being an actual nice guy and being concerned on, say, all the damage his work has done, he is worried of not beoing raped in prison and the like. The character itself is really contradictory, but like I said, he's nice to watch and the pacing of the film helps us empathize with him. And Norton's performance is excellent to boot.

Scenes like these help a big deal. Here's a Youtube link. "Ten years in the country, still no speak English?"

The supporting cast also helps set the depressing tone of the film. Phillip Seymour Hoffman plays Monty's friend, a shy teacher with a crush on his student; Brian Cox plays Monty's father, an alcoholic ex-fireman; then there's Monty's promiscuous girlfriend, Naturelle; his sleazy Russian friend Kostya... Their performances are also spot on, the characters are well developed, and everyone has his own subplot. They are what drive the story forward.

Except for minor nitpicks like the main character being contradictory and my inability to understand the post 911 undretones of the film, The 25th Hour was totally worth watching. One of the best surprises I had since I started this blog (I wasn't expecting a lot on this one).